WOW

I really messed up today.  I totally forgot my appointment with the plastic surgeon.  I thought my appointment was Friday but NOOOOOO it was today.  They called me at 12 asking me if I was coming the appointment was at 11:30am.  What got me was that they said they had no other time available for me to be seen before the surgery. Plus they block out an hour of time for the consultation. So I only had 30 min left to see her.  I was a basketcase on the drive to the office.  I prayed and prayed asking God to make this appointment work.  I couldn't handle if I messed this up.  Well I got there at 12:20.  I was scared that they were going to say it was to late to see me but they were very  very nice and understanding.  And God did his thing and the patient after me had to reschedule so she was able to spend the time needed.  This is starting to become very real.  We were sitting there talking about cutting off a part of me and replacing it with something else.  This whole thing is just crazy.  I don't want to go through with this but what choice do I have.  I must get this cancer out of me.  Its all through out my breast so they can't just remove the lumps.  This sucks! The closer the day comes the more I don't want to think about it.  Well at least I can keep my hair.  No chemo or radiation, so I have that going for me. I'm so ready to get this over with so I can put it in the past.  so I will be spending the next couple of days getting things ready for Wed. I will admit it is getting harder and harder the closer I get. I know I will be ok.  God promised me that.