It has been awhile

Hello, I haven't written anything in the last several months.God instructed me this morning to start writing again.  Which kinda scares me because I feel something is about to happen. For those who don't know I am a 3 year breast cancer survivor, I have had 6 surgeries in 4 years. Gall Bladder removed, mastectomy (right breast), breast reconstruction, hysterectomy, hernia, meningoma removed (brain surgery).  Whewww...crazy isn't it!  My life has been a crazy rollercoaster but God has kept me all the way.  See the night I found out I had cancer God told me I wasn't going to die.  He said it was going to be tough but I was going to die.  So I was able to deal with thing better (somewhat) knowing I wasn't going to die. It was tough but I trust God and he kept his word.  Even with the brain tumor, He told me I will be ok "He got this" Now that was a tough one also. But God!!!! 

Guess What!!! now I am a licensed Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Legacy **YAYYYYYY**  I love that place. I am learning so much.  It is great to feel normal again. Even my fibromyalgia hasn't been as bad. I had slacked off my dr. appointments lately. It feels good not being poked at, looked at, tested on for a bit.  But yesterday I called all my doctors to start seeing them again for my regular checkups. See I got 4 doctors I see on the regular and I suppose to get a Mri every 6 months.  Hopefully they don't find any changes and then I can go to every year.

Well back to today,  God wants me to start writing again but I am not sure what about.  That's why it scares me a little.  Just a little.  God told me cancer was going to kill me but never said the cancer wont come back.  Just when I get all my doctor appointments set The next day, I am told to start blogging again. hmmmmm  What is God doing?  I did pray for God to use me.....SMH I guess I getting what I prayed for...lol.  I guess when I figure out what I suppose to be writing about you will hear from me.  I will keep you up to date on how my appointments go.  My breast dr told me to call back today for an appointment, My oncologist is in Aug.  The neurologist has to call me back with a date because of the MRI and my primary care doc is next week.  ...lol  these are the main players..lol

That's all I can think about writing today.  Oh Yeah...  Who do you know is looking to buy, sell or invest in real estate in the next 6 months? 

WOW 1 year ago!!!!

Happy Craniversary to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!  One year ago today Mindy the Meningioma was evicted.  I was told I was going to loose hearing completely in my right ear,  I was going to have difficulty swallowing, I was going to have drooping on the right side of my face, and some other issues... BUT GOD!!!!!!!  I have none of that.  I woke up from surgery hearing again out of my right ear.  This is the longest I have gone with not having to need surgery.  I am so thankful  so so thankful.  Having 6 major surgeries in 3 years is rough on the body but God kept me.  I am in tears as I look at how far I have came during this year.  My head is still healing...barometer head when the weather changes..uggg but that is really the only issue I really have to deal with.  Other than that I am "normal"  I guess as normal as I can be..hehe,  my fibromyalgia is manageable again.  It is amazes me what God has done for me.  I know my faith in God is why I am where I am today.  Between gall bladder surgery,breast cancer, breast reconstruction (easiest surgery), bad hysterectomy surgery, hernia surgery and the brain tumor WOW I have been through a lot.  Thank you God for my healing!!!!

8 Months Post Op

Hello everybody,  8 months since I had "Mindy" removed.  She is not missed.  I am doing very well. I still get a weird squeezing sensation along my scar. Since I have been using Thrive I don't get pain in my head as bad as before.  I still get painful shocks like pains but nowhere as often( maybe a couple times a week not couple times a day) I have learned the hard way I can only push myself but so far before I start having problems.  But other than that I am doing well.  My 6 month check up went great.  My neurologist wants me to talk to new patients to help ease their fears of the surgery and recovery.  I feel and I'm doing better than I was before surgery.   It has really changed how I look at life and my purpose in this world.  Sometimes I have to remind myself I'm still healing.  I did get my head cut open...lol  I just want people to know there is life after a brain tumor. Everybody's tumor is different, everyone's recovery is different but we still need the same thing - Support.  This is not something you can go thru alone.  The support groups on Facebook are great because you see your not along.  There are people who understand exactly what you are thinking, feeling, and hoping for.  I thank God for them.  I feel I was better prepared for what was going to happen to me,so I didn't react with panic when weird things happen,  like not being able to taste anything because of the steroids.  They didn't tell me that in the hospital. I learned that from my groups.  I was pissed when my chick fil a nugget didn't taste right...lol   here is a list of groups that have helped and prayed for me

Meningioma Mommas   
Meningioma Support For Us
 Grey Matters
 Mind Over Meningioma

God Has Spoken "LET THEM WATCH"

Interesting title huh?  Here some back story.  Yesterday was a good day for me.  I made some money for Jay's party doing a focus group in Hunt Valley and I was able to schedule an appointment with my plastic surgeon to finish my breast reconstruction.  See after my 1st reconstruction I needed 3 major surgeries, so she wanted to wait until I was doing well to finish up.  I called my oncologist's office to get the results from my blood work that was done last week.  **BIG SIGH**  Everything looks good except that darn alkaline phosphatase levels.  It has gone a little higher than it was in May. (raised alkaline phosphatase levels means the cancer is trying to come back)  The nurse told me that Dr. Couzi will call me later to talk to me.  That put me in a bad head space. I allowed myself to be there just for a moment.  I called my husband and being the wonderful person he is reminded me EVERYTHING else is good.  Even the PET scan I had a month ago came up with nothing.  So I decided that I will give it to God and have the same faith I did with my brain tumor.  Ok Dr. Couzi called me last night............She kept asking how I am feeling.  I told her I feel good and doing well.  I told her about my shoulder that didn't really concern her because I am getting physically therapy for it. She kept asking about my back.  I kept saying my back is fine.  She told me she is at a lost to why my levels are rising and everything else is normal.  She is going to talk to her colleagues and get back to me.  She thinking about doing another bone scan. So I should be hearing from her at the end of the week.  I also finally heard from my Neurologist about my 6 month MRI and check up.  I go in Aug for that.  So a lot of info thrown at me in 1 day...lol  But I can handle it.

So this morning during my quiet time I decided not to ask God for anything today.  I just sat saying THANK YOU.  Over and over just thanking Him.  Then I heard it loud and clear "LET THEM WATCH"  Now I know this word isn't just for me.  Someone reading this gets it and understands.  At first I was like "What do you mean?" Then I remember what He did during my brain surgery.  I had to start crying tears of joy.   I know I will be ok no matter what is coming my way.  God has always taken care of me. Always had me come out better than I was when I went in.  So if you don't believe......just WATCH

Post OP 5 months - 2 weeks NO pain meds!!!!

I want to cry.  It has been 2 weeks and I haven't taken any pain meds. not even a Tylenol.  I am 44 and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at 25.  I have been in some kind of pain every day of my life since. No more migraines...even with the crazy weather we have had.  Normally when the weather would change I would feel it in my head(barometer head)  I haven't gotten it in 2 weeks. I'm not trying to sell you anything, I just want to let you know what works for me and how I'm doing.  Since the brain surgery I would get these sharp pains in my head like electric shocks.  They would stop me in my tracks. Haven't been shocked in 2 weeks.  Now don't get me wrong I am still tender at the surgery site... I don't think I will be getting my hair braided anytime soon....lol.  I do still get these weird sensations in my head.  I can't say it hurts,  just a weird tingling feeling.  I called my Neurosurgeon yesterday for my 6 month checkup.  HAHA he was surprised how well I was doing after 2 weeks wait until he sees me now! Goodness I have so much more energy but some days I still need to nap but only for 30min at the most not 1-2 hours like before.  I just feel like a more productive human being.  I can't thank God enough for showing me THRIVE.  So many meds I have been able to stop.  I was taking a mild antidepressant because of the breast cancer meds... mainly for hot flashes(which I use to get several an hour) and for mood swings because of the surgical menopause I'm in. The hot flashes have calmed down tremendously and my mood.  I am normally a positive person but I am even more now... if that is possible...lol

God has been so so so good to me.  He promised me that cancer wasn't going to kill me and He would handle the brain tumor and now He has controlled my fibromyalgia. I trusted God and asked for help when I needed and put it in God's hands when it was too much for me to handle. I give Him ALL the glory.  He knows how skeptical I am.  He had 2 people come to me at 2 totally different places to tell me about THRIVE.  Because I heard about it but didn't believe and just thought it was something like Herbalife which I tried and it didn't do much for my health or pocket. But with someone telling me about it at church(he is also a good friend of my husband) and a total stranger at a yardsale in the same weekend I had to give it a try.  God knows me ..lol  He knows I'm hard-headed and need convincing.  So when my husband tried his sample and I saw how great he felt and when he didn't need his antacids before bed like many many nights before and didn't have the desire to snack  (this man was the snack monster...lol) I knew I wanted to try.

2 weeks later all I can do is cry tears of joy.  I haven't felt this good since my early 20's.  I use to wonder if I would ever feel normal. Now I am.  I go to my Oncologist next week for bloodwork because they thought the cancer was trying to come back because certain levels were elevated, the PET scan didn't find anything so i go for bloodwork again.  I can't wait for her to see me and see how well I'm doing. I believe my levels were elevated because of the pain meds I was taking back then.  Since I don't take them I know my levels will be back to normal.

Now don't get me wrong.. I do eat healthier and I exercise (some).  But THRIVE just makes it easier.  If possible just try it.  What harm will it do?  not work?  Then you lost nothing but if it does??????????  WOW You will gain a new outlook on life.  All I can say I am Thankful for how I feel after years almost 25 years of pain.  Got me crying as I type this.  Thank You God.... Thank You, Thank You.


www.candyb.le-vel.com 
I would like a sample inbox me on facebook or leave a message here.  :)

NEW LIFE..... Are You Thriving!!!

The last 2 days of my life I feel so ALIVE. A great friend gave me some samples of a nutritional supplement. OMG I haven't felt this great since I was in my twenties!!!!  I was given LeVel THRIVE.  I have tried many products over the years trying to come off of meds for  fibromyalgia.  If you know my story I am a 2 1/2 year breast cancer survivor and have had several surgeries over the last 2 1/2 years and recently recovering from brain surgery where a benign meningoma was removed.  I have been married for only 2 1/2 years.  So it has truly "for sickness and health"..lol  I have gain quite a bit of weight over the last couple years and fatigue  & I have become very close against my wishes.  I have been dealing with fibromyalgia since I was 25.  I am 44 now.  The last 2 days I have had energy like never before and NO... I mean NO crashing.  My mind has been so clear and I can think and concentrate better.  I have gotten so much done in the last couple of days.  I can keep up with my 3 year old son.  Now this makes me cry because he would really wear me out by the afternoon.  Now it's my turn. OHH..OHHHHH   The aches and pains....what is that????..lol  I haven't had  to take any pain meds.  I can exercise now and loose this weight.  Thrive has also cut down my cravings I really don't want tings that are real sweet. Oh YES menopause... My hot flashes.... I can actually count how many I have a day and they are no where as intense as they were before THRIVE...THANK YOU GOD!

I am so excited about this new start to my life.  My body feels AWESOME  Thank You Chris Belin for introducing my husband and I to this product. Thrive has really changed my life.  I feel normal again.  I don't feel like I have to struggle or work as hard as everyone else just to live.  I can give my husband the wife he originally married and my kids the mom they deserve.  If you suffer  Please just check this stuff out.  It could change your life like it has mine.  This video is proof just Day 1 of THRIVE

Post by Matthew E. Bradby II.

3 1/2 months post surgery

Well it has been 3 1/2 months since Mindy  the Meningioma was evicted.  I am doing well.  I still get tired easy and when the weather changes my head feels funny.  I get this tight feeling around the incision and my head just don't feel right. I still get dizzy every now and then but nowhere as bad as it was before surgery.  Other than that I feel good.  I'm working out (riding a stationary bike and walking)  I need to loose this EXTRA weight.  I do have this sore spot that showed up.  It looks like a red and purple bump.  I'm gonna call my surgeon today and ask him about it.

  I really didn't want to talk about this but I needed to have a PET scan because my alkaline phosphatase levels were elevated.  The test is to see if the cancer has come back some place else in my body. **BIG SIGH**  I hope that my levels are elevated because I started taking tramadol for the pain in my feet(plantar fasciitis)  If the cancer has come back it has a battle on it's hands.. Because God and I are in this together.   They said my oncologist will have the results 2 working days.  I had the test done Tuesday so I guess Thursday or Friday at the latest.  I'm calling the Dr today to see if she has the results.  This is very frustrating, every time I heal and recover and start feeling somewhat normal something else in my body goes crazy.  UGGGG    You just don't know how tired I am of doctors.The only thing I can do now is hold onto God and let Him guide me thru this.

This is why I have been trying to build my Avon business.  Every time I try to go back to work something keeps going wrong and I can't so gotta work for myself. :)   So I have been pushing my Avon business hard. I have a lot of support from my family.  So please check out my store.  I will ship or deliver locally.  There are a lot of items on sale  Thank you for helping me help my family. Every little order helps.  Thanks again

Week 6 & 7 Recovery

 Well I had a little bit of an issue early in 6th week... but it was the nerves waking up and it was painful.  It let me dizzy and just felt bad.  It only lasted a couple of days.  But the pain shows up off and on and throws me off. I'm getting out and walking more.  I just can't walk as fast as I use to ....dizziness kicks in so slow going for me.  I had a great time for my birthday(March 28).  Had breakfast with my mom and then a long nap(3 hours) then dinner with hubby at a hibachi restaurant.  It was fun.  I was concerned if the noise from the chef would bother me and it didn't.  The lights were low and it wasn't real noisy.  I loved it.  Then my daughter came in town to pamper me.  So her and her best friend Symone took me to the MAC store to get my makeup done.  I felt nice to brighten up my look. It felt to nice to feel pretty. I enjoyed being in the mall.  I has been a long time since I have been able to walk around a mall.  We got there early to make it easier on me. By the time we left it was pretty busy and things were bothering me. Between the lights and the people and just mall noise it was getting to be a bit much and I started to get pains in my head.  Then we went to get our nails done.  That was nice and relaxing. It has been over a year since I had my nails done so I enjoyed the pampering.  Then we went to a nice Mexican restaurant that reminded Nay of Texas. I needed a very long nap after that day. 

Now week 7.  I went to church (where my husband is the pastor) Sunday.  Loved it.  I miss my Faith Church Baltimore family and fellowship.  I was tired but it was a good tired.  The noise bother me some.  My head feels like it is tightening along the incision and I still get shocks of sharp pains  at time.  I drove this week.  I had to take Dylan to the DR. for a checkup.  I did good driving.  Now having a toddler all day by myself is another story. I get tired very easy.  I don't have the energy to care for a 2 year old all day.  I thank God for Aunt Ann.  She has been a true blessing watching him during the day while I heal.  When I rest up during the day I have the energy to care for him when he comes home in the evening. 

Now I am experiencing a sweet taste in my mouth all the time.  I go to see the dr. next week.  I'm not getting headaches as much.  Just the sharp pains that come and go.  I can actually say I am feeling good. I feel my life is better since Mindy the Meningioma was removed.  I am getting stronger and stronger every day.  God gets all the Glory.  I trusted Him.  I trusted He would care for me and He did. I am proof that God will keep his promises. But that will be another whole post...lol.   I'm not 100% yet I would say 70%.  There are still some things I can't do but I am healing and happy.  I'm gonna try water aerobics this weekend to see if I can handle it. I am walking more than I was able to before the surgery.  I am taking one day at a time. But I am having more good days than bad.

So very Thankful. 

Week 5 Recovery

This week was spent getting use to having no hair.  Everybody that has seen me in person sees why I had to cut it all off so it can grow back evenly.  It is growing very fast so I'm happy with that.  I have been feeling good.  I tried to drive.  I didn't go far but driving was a bit too much for me.  My brain couldn't handle the cars moving around me.  So I won't drive for another couple weeks.  I notice on days that I move around alot I seem to suffer in the evening with head pain. Gotta slow down.  It was so pretty out this weekend. I took my youngest to the playground across the street.  He is a very good listener for a 2 yr old.  Thankfully there was another young woman there with her nephews close to Dylan's age, so they ran him around to help wear him out.  I got tired just watching.  After about  45min I needed to go back in.  I had to bribe him with pizza to get him to leave willingly....lol  I was done for the day and it was only 4pm.  I get very tired after doing simple things like folding clothes or just walking in the store.  Grocery stores are still a bit much.  I went to out to eat Sunday with my family when they came home from church.  We  went to a buffet style place.  Whewwww.  that was an experience.  Way to much going on around me and a little too much noise.  I did enjoy being out but having to walk around to get my food wore me out and was dizzying.  I did so enjoy the time with my family.  Even my Nay was with us.  It felt great having all my kids together.

Recovering from brain surgery is going to take more patience from me.  I see it is going to take a bit longer to get back to "normal" for me. Even if my body can do it the question becomes  can my brain handle it?  So far these days the answer has been NO!.  I want to go to church this week.  I miss church, my church family and just plain old fellowship.  So as long as I am feeling well I will be going.

 Oh guess what MY BIRTHDAY is FRIDAY.  I made it to 44. I have survived and came out stronger. And for the first time I know what I want for my birthday.  I'm going to a restaurant I want( no buffet).  I don't know what else is planned.  My husband is known for surprising me.  My daughter is coming down Sat for a girls day.  I'm excited.  God is soo Good!!

Hair

It's funny how when I was diagnosed with breast cancer loosing my breast and my hair was heartbreaking then God spared me and I didn't need chemo or radiation so I was able to keep my hair.  Then came Mindy the Meningioma and I'm told I needed brain surgery.   I wanted to go natural especially when my daughter cut her hair but I was unsure about cutting the relaxer out and having short hair.  I was pending my decision on how much the surgeon was going to shave off for surgery.  When he told me I had my hair cut 2 weeks later and I liked it and was happy with my decision.  I had plan on rocking a mohawk after surgery but after seeing the 3 bald spots from the brace they used on my head and the side that was shaved I couldn't....."BIG SIGH"    I had hubby (he was a barber in the past) shave everything even last night.  All that thick curly hair on the floor.  But I had to do it if I wanted my hair to grow out even.  Because my hair was so thick you couldn't see 2 of the  bald spots when my hair was dry but when was wet.. You really could see all 3.   I laughed when I saw myself in the mirror.  Cancer didn't get my hair but a brain tumor did.  I really don't like Mindy!  Who would have thought 2 years cancer free I would loose my hair.  I'm not as sad about it as I was 2 years ago.  I guess after going thru 6 surgeries in two years and the changes in my body it is easier to accept.  The good thing is my hair grows fast. Plus good with hot flashes..lol  Now I won't be going in public without my head covered.  I am a bit self conscious about the scar along the right side of my head and the 3 bald spots. I do get to wear some pretty scarves and cute large earrings.  I guess I will play around with makeup more.  Also do you know the money I will save on hair care products now.  I thought I was saving when I first cut my hair but now $$$$$$.  Stuff will last me forever now..lol  I can still look cute after water aerobics (when I can start)  It will be cool for the summer and I can wear some cute spring hats.  So there are some good points ..... OH Yeah... my hair will grow back evenly.  My wonderful husband says he still find me sexy.  He even offer to buy a wig for me if it made me feel better(he hates wigs).  I said no just buy me some pretty scarves to wrap my head with.  He really like when I wear the scarves.  All I can do is laugh at all of this.  Who knew that my 40's would be so eventful..lol   Goodness I will be 44 next Friday.  At this rate I will be fully refurbished by the time I'm 50....lol 

Week 4 recovery

Well I am in week 4 of my recovery from brain surgery.  I am doing well. Walking without the walker.  I even got to go for a walk outside on one of the warm days last week.  It felt so good to be outside.  Hubby took me out for a ride and some frozen yogurt on Saturday.  The car ride was ok, became a little nauseous and the sunlight was a bit much but it was nice to out and about.  needed a nap after our little date.  I have been having pain at the incision site.. a throbbing pain. The Dr. office said it was my nerves waking up.  I still have some numb parts on my head.  This weather change has been giving me headaches a lot.  It is called barometer head, where the barometric pressure effects my brain... it sucks.  I can tell you when a storm is coming now.  Oh yeah..... I got to sleep in the bed room last night..YAYYYYYY... I have been sleeping on our love seat to sleep sitting up.  If I lay down flat the pressure hurts quite bit and I will wake up with a headache. I piled up a lot of pillows for support and my neck pillow and I was able to sleep with no pain. I didn't wake up with a headache...now I did slide down some during my sleep but my head was still prop up enough.  It was nice being next to my hubby again  :).  I am not driving yet and I don't bend over anymore.  I do exercise some by doing squats and knee raises.  It feels good.  I do get fatigued easier and more often but I am taking it one day at a time and listening to my body when I need to rest. A lot of noise and lights and motion still bothers me but I feel I'm getting stronger everyday.

  My creative juices have been flowing like crazy.  There is so much I want to make it is hard to know where to start.  So Mindy the Meningioma didn't screw with my creativity. I have been crocheting since it is something I can do sitting still.  I will start sewing next week.  I will start my jewelery making up again also.  I am excited that my head is clear again and I can focus better than before the surgery.  So keep a look out for my creations. Candy J Boutique

Ups and Downs in One Day

It is exactly 2 weeks today since Mindy the Meningioma was evicted.. WHEWWWWWWW.  I have been doing pretty well. I am walking more and more everyday without the walker.  Thank God for spellcheck cause my spelling has gone downhill since the surgery but that is slowly getting better also.  It's funny because I have to take everyday hour by hour.  Yesterday morning I was up at 3am dancing around ( well the best I can for now...lol) trying to do the yoga tree pose....lol that took about 15min just to get in to the pose..lol  I did 5 squats, 1 push up off the wall... my head didn't like that so I will stick to squats.  Then I was trying to do some zumba without too much head shaking.... that didn't go too well...It was just that I has so much energy and I felt so good at the time.  I even cooked breakfast.  Then I needed a nap.  Everybody was home because of the snow so I did have help around the house.  I wanted to do some laundry... had the energy for 10min.  After I sorted the clothes into 4 piles.  I needed a nap.  It is crazy how tired I get so quickly. Plus the more I try to do the more my head started to hurt. So I was down by 4pm for the rest of the day.  I was able to make dinner.  I wanted spaghetti with italian sausage.  I love to cook.  I am listening to my body during this recovery  period.  I might want to do something but I can only do what my body can.  No extras yet.  If I tried to do more than my body wanted I will get this strong pressure in my head. Sometimes it hurts sometimes it is just very uncomfortable. 

I know this is off subject but I found a bald spot in the back of my head and another one over my left ear.  It is sore there also.  I guess that is where they bolted my head for surgery or something.... but the Bald spot about as big as a 50cent coin.  Now I really don't know what to do about my hair.  I just might be rocking headbands and scarfs and hats until everything grows out. 

I won't be driving anytime soon.  I still have trouble turning my head to the left without feeling like it is stretching my scar.  I feel a lot of pressure in my right ear.  Hope that goes soon also. I can only think it is from my brain healing.Hey I can do a real punk rock look with both sides shaved...lol.  I miss being independent.  I am resting and letting my brain heal.  I only seem to sleep 2 -4 hours at a time.  It doesn't bother me now cause I can rest when I want to (when the kids are gone..lol)

1 Week since Crani.

Ok today marks one week since my brain surgery,  I am doing well.  I had my first trip almost fall with the walker the last night,  I was a little to tired and weak trying to make it from the bathroom.  It is amazing how much your brain takes in when you think your doing nothing.  I notice I feel awesome in the morning but as the day goes on the busier it gets around me the more tired I get and the slower my brain starts to work,  I have to think a little harder I notice I get jittery like my brain is on overload.  It was a bit unnerving to have that trip up cause I haven't felt that uneasy on my feet since day 2 of the surgery.  As I sit here I am listening to some yoga zen music app I found on my kindle.  I realize I need to take some time everyday just to calm my brain down from the everyday stimulus that is around me.  The music has helped a lot.  My hands stop shaking and my heart has calmed down. I'm really going to get into this meditating more now.  I plan on doing whatever I can to help my brain heal best.

Thank God for the Facebook support Groups Meningioma Mommas, mind over meningioma
MeningiomaTalk, meningiomasupportforus
GreyMatter
They have helped me so much. Like I didn't know the steroids that I take would change how food taste but I will get it back after the meds wore off.  I was pretty mad when I had my ball park beef hotdog and it taste like mush.  I can't taste anything savory. and some sweet stuff just doesn't taste right.  So I really don't eat unless my body is asking for food cause I find no pleasure in eating.
 I also learned to sleep sitting up cause to much pressure on my brain laying down and trying to get up.  actually I have been quite comfortable.  I do miss sleeping next to my hubby.  I won't start outpatient therapy  for another week. I have a follow up on Thursday.  I get the pathology report on my tumor.  Right now...... my life have really slowed down.  I guess I will take time to smell the roses

Surgery Day

Well Mindy the Meningioma will have to be forced out!!.  Surgery is at 7:30am but I have to be at the hospital at 5:15am  Of course I can't sleep, which is fine because I will get plenty during the 9 hour surgery..uggggg  that is long.  Yesterday I had all my pre op test done and another MRI.  They put markers on my head that I had to keep on.  People were looking at me funny when I went to the store with these disks on my head. They go from behind 1 ear all the way around to the other ear. Looking forward to all this being over.  You know the crazy part.  I have not cried about this,  God has place me in such a peaceful state.  I just know I will be ok.  Just like with the breast cancer, it won't be easy but I will be just fine.  I trust God. I believe that I am to touch someone's life that I otherwise wouldn't have if I didn't go thru this.  I have already met some very nice people today who were surprised I was able to laugh and still be happy. Why not be happy?  I rather be happy than sad, I rather laugh than cry. Like I said before I trust God is doing what is in my best interest.  I did ask him to use me as He sees fit. And He is doing that...lol   The next time you will hear from me will be after the eviction takes place..... Love you all and take care

The Eviction Papers Have Been Served!

Ok Mindy the Meningioma have been served her eviction papers.  With God's help she can leave on her own or with the surgeons help be forced out.  She needs to leave my head.  She is causing more and more problems the longer she stays. It's bad enough I have lost some hearing in my right ear and have that constant ringing going on. I can't walk at a normal pace without getting dizzy. It is difficult to stay focused on anything for any period of time.  I went to a wedding yesterday and we were home by 3 and I was in the bed the rest of the day. I wake up at 5am to a splitting headache. I can't take anything but tylenol (which doesn't do a thing for me) so I suffer because of Mindy GRRRRRRRRRR.  SHE GOT TO GO!  So I find out tomorrow which way she decides to go.  I have to have another MRI before the surgery. I would like for her to take God's assistance and just disappear. Mindy has been a true pain. If the surgeon has to be the one to remove her, I plan on continuing my blog at the hospital. My daughter and husband will probably have Facebook post about my recovery from surgery. I still believe God will do whatever is in my best interest. Maybe a great blessing will come about with me having surgery.  Who knows God's plan.  I guess I will find out tomorrow.

Support

The other day I was on the phone with my daughter Nay as usual and I was telling her I wish I could talk to someone who has gone thru this so I would know what to expect after surgery.  She found a great group called Meningioma Mommas.  They have a Facebook page and a website with a discussion board.  They have been very helpful.  It is very nice to chat with people who are going thru or has gone thru the same thing.  The people have been very supportive. I am so happy Nay found them for me. I have learned more about my recovery and what to expect.  Still praying and meditating that the tumor will shrink and surgery won't be needed.  It is still hard to believe.  Oh well I have faith God will do what is best.

I CHOOSE HAPPY

2 weeks from today I will be having brain surgery.  It is still weird to say and hard to believe.  I find moments where I want to cry like a little baby but for some reason I can't.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I think it is more out of frustration. But I still haven't cried. There was a period before the last surgery date where I start to feel myself falling into a depressed state. I feel like I'm fighting my body.  My fibromyalgia is acting up bad right now.   I didn't want to be there so I prayed and asked God for help.  That is when I found my happy song.  I was flipping thru channels on TV and Pharrell William's video for Happy was on and it made me smile and the extra plus is it's from one of my favorite movies Despicable Me 2.  Well I loved both movies.  When I hear the song I automatically smile and I'm HAPPY.  I also have Minion ringtones.  I love it when my phone goes off while I'm in public.  It always puts a smile on somebody's face and makes them laugh.  You never know that might be the only laugh they will have that day.  I love making people happy.  Well back to my Happy Song,  My husband and daughter have been told I want to hear this song right before surgery and when the see me in recovery.  I choose to be happy.  Everybody should have a happy song.

Surgery Postponed

I don't know if it is good news or bad news..... The Neurosurgeon called me himself last night to let me know he wants to reschedule my surgery because his people took another look at my films and saw that I do not have an acoustic neuroma but I do have meningioma.  He said it is a more fibrous tumor and the nerve wraps itself around the tumor, so he wants more monitoring during the surgery.

Honestly I just want to sit in a corner and cry out of frustration.  I was getting myself in a good mental state for this surgery.  I don't want to have to take anything for my nerves.  I just want this over with.  The risks are still the same.  Hearing loss and partial loss of feeling on the right side of my face etc. etc.etc.  I'm trusting God that I will come out of this even better than I went into it.  Hey maybe God just needed more time to shrink the tumor so I don't even need surgery.  I can only pray.

So I wait for the call with the new surgery date.

Acoustic Neuroma or Meningioma?

I plan recording my journey with this tumor and better health.  2 week ago I saw the ENT at John Hopkins  Dr. Limb, He said he doesn't believe I have an acoustic neuroma.  He believes it's a meningioma.  The difference is one is on the nerve to my ear  and the other is on the lining of my brain.  He said it looked like it was on the lining and spreads out to the nerve.  They won't know for sure until they get in my head.

Jan 14th is surgery day.  The nurse called me the other day with the schedules for tests
 and surgery time. I became nervous for the first time.  i still have a hard time believing this really happening. Breast cancer was a shock.  A brain tumor seems so unbelievable.  But I guess it's real because I am starting to have other symptoms.  The most frustrating one if the tingling and numbness and weakness in my right hand and arm.  Just imagine your arm and hands falling asleep all the time.  I also learned some of my confusion and forgetfulness  is from the tumor. So with that all said I am ready for this thing to get out of my head and get back to normal.

The closer it get to the surgery date and after I will probably doing video blogs showing my recovery.  I really hope what I am going thru helps another person get thru this.  God is my rock and I couldn't have done this without Him.  I know whatever reason I have to deal with this something good is going to come out of it.  God only have my best interest at heart.