It has been awhile

Hello, I haven't written anything in the last several months.God instructed me this morning to start writing again.  Which kinda scares me because I feel something is about to happen. For those who don't know I am a 3 year breast cancer survivor, I have had 6 surgeries in 4 years. Gall Bladder removed, mastectomy (right breast), breast reconstruction, hysterectomy, hernia, meningoma removed (brain surgery).  Whewww...crazy isn't it!  My life has been a crazy rollercoaster but God has kept me all the way.  See the night I found out I had cancer God told me I wasn't going to die.  He said it was going to be tough but I was going to die.  So I was able to deal with thing better (somewhat) knowing I wasn't going to die. It was tough but I trust God and he kept his word.  Even with the brain tumor, He told me I will be ok "He got this" Now that was a tough one also. But God!!!! 

Guess What!!! now I am a licensed Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Legacy **YAYYYYYY**  I love that place. I am learning so much.  It is great to feel normal again. Even my fibromyalgia hasn't been as bad. I had slacked off my dr. appointments lately. It feels good not being poked at, looked at, tested on for a bit.  But yesterday I called all my doctors to start seeing them again for my regular checkups. See I got 4 doctors I see on the regular and I suppose to get a Mri every 6 months.  Hopefully they don't find any changes and then I can go to every year.

Well back to today,  God wants me to start writing again but I am not sure what about.  That's why it scares me a little.  Just a little.  God told me cancer was going to kill me but never said the cancer wont come back.  Just when I get all my doctor appointments set The next day, I am told to start blogging again. hmmmmm  What is God doing?  I did pray for God to use me.....SMH I guess I getting what I prayed for...lol.  I guess when I figure out what I suppose to be writing about you will hear from me.  I will keep you up to date on how my appointments go.  My breast dr told me to call back today for an appointment, My oncologist is in Aug.  The neurologist has to call me back with a date because of the MRI and my primary care doc is next week.  ...lol  these are the main players..lol

That's all I can think about writing today.  Oh Yeah...  Who do you know is looking to buy, sell or invest in real estate in the next 6 months? 

Exercise

3 1/2 months since brain surgery, 1 year since hernia surgery, 1 1/2 years since hysterectomy, 2 years  since breast reconstruction and 2 1/2 years since mastectomy and 3 years since gallbladder was removed......... I have gained over  60lbs and 40 of it in the last 6 to 9 months.  You might say I look fine but my body doesn't feel fine. At 202lbs,  my joints hurt a lot, energy level is low, I have to work harder to keep my blood pressure down.  So my oncologist said she wants me to loose 20lbs in the next 6 months.  I want to loose 40.  Honestly I will be happy with anything.  So since the brain surgery I have been walking more and riding the bike at the YMCA.  Well today I took my first water aerobics class since the surgery.  I feel great.. tired but great.  Now I did have to stop at times during the  class because I felt a lot of pressure in my head but I did get thru the whole class.  I was dizzy when getting out the pool so I was moving a little slower after the class.  But I DID IT!!  I do need a nap about now...lol   I want to add weights but they will be very light weight to start..  I notice I still get a lot of pressure in my head when dealing with heavy weight.  Hubby is working out with me.  Plus I bought a Nutri Bullet and have been drinking my healthy drinks  I have been feeding the drinks to the whole family.  It took a couple of tries but to get a good drink.  The first drink I made was nasty!!!  I figured I would just stay fat..lol  but with my daddy's help I made some yummy drinks.  So working on getting healthier.  I will keep you up to date on my progress



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2012...WOW

This year has been a true challenge for me. My life has changed in ways I never would have imagined. But it all has not been bad.  Because of the cancer we found our baby boy  :)   Breast cancer and the unexpected hysterectomy and my 3 surgeries , 2 1/2 week hospital stay( pneumonia, tube in my nose to my stomach for 2 weeks, IV in my neck, almost heart attack...no muscle damage so it wasn't a heart attack,that is what the Dr.'s said, blood clot in my leg), and burning my hand.  All this happening while we had to move from a house that was literally falling apart, to our church(for a very short time) to our home now.  Our church was going thru transition during the same time.

 I survived!!!! With God and my husband I have made it. My faith in God is even stronger than ever before. I want to thank my mom and dad for their support. It would have been a lot tougher without their help. I want to thank Matt's family, his mom and aunts and cousin for caring for Dylan when I was in the hospital and while I was recovering.  This year I truly discovered that I have the best, loving, compassionate, fabulous children God can create. Chardiney and Jayson took such good care of me when I couldn't care for myself.  They are going to make great spouses and parents. Last but surely not least I want to thank my loving husband Matthew Bradby. He made me feel so loved and beautiful when I didn't feel the same.  He has been by side whenever I needed him.   I love him so much.  He took great care of the boys when I was in the hospital and worked and pastored the church and still came to see me every day. You know the part in the marriage vows for better or worst... I guess we got the worst out the way first. I am so thankful for him.

But this year wasn't all bad.  I added a new member to my family and I love him as tho I birthed him myself.  He has brought so much love and joy to our family... DYLAN.  My oldest child Chardiney graduated from Wesely College and is in grad school and join the Air Force Reserve. I couldn't be more proud of her. My son Jay stepped it up and took on more responsibility with caring for his brother and me.  So proud of the young man he is becoming.

2012 has taught me I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. God does answer prayers. He will take care of all your needs,,, you just have to ask.  Now I did say NEEDS.  Everything happens for a reason.  I am excited for 2013. God has been showing his power in my family's life quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. I will continue to praise Him and give thanks. Thank You Father God for loving me so much!

Menopause

This whole menopause thing is interesting.  I have been thrown in what is called Surgical Menopause.  So my hormones have been snatched away completely so my body is adjusting and depleting what I had left in my system.  Since I was on Tamoxifen my body was somewhat adjusting to lower estrogen and I was having some menopause symptoms.  I had some hot flashes before but NOW this mess is crazy.. one moment I burning up sweating and the next I am freezing.  I am constantly taking clothes off and putting them on.  I carry my breast cancer blanket around cause I get cold quick. I haven't had any real mood swings.  I really don't feel either way.  Tamoxifen made me want to fight and I angered easily.  I don't feel that way anymore ( good thing for those nurses at the hospital) .  Now I do tear up easily. So sad movies even sad news stories get to me... I find it kinda funny because I know why I'm so teary eyed.

This is a new phase in my life. It's different.  It's taking some time getting use to my new body.  It feels different and looks different but in time it will be better than it was before.  I am looking forward to working out maybe start running like my lil sister. She is doing marathons..maybe someday we can run one together. I heard exercise really help menopause symptoms. I can't wait to get clearance from my dr. In time I will be "normal " again.  Well normal for me...lol

2 weeks

The last 2 weeks of my life has been a real eye opener.  What I went thru I couldn't have never imagine happening to me.  Breast cancer was a breeze compared to the last 2 week.  As you know I had a total hysterectomy on 9/19/2012.  The morning after I was feeling good as you can see from the first pic. But in a matter of hours I went downhill and down hill fast. My blood pressure had dropped very very low and the oxygen level in my blood was very low, so every time I got out of bed I felt horrible. I was told I had a hematoma.  My hand started to swell from the IV so it was moved up my arm until it was at the bend of my elbow, my arm continued to swell.  Because of the breast cancer they can't use my right arm for anything. I ended up having the iv put into my neck.  Now for for the tube in my nose to my stomach.  I didn't eat for almost 2 weeks during that time but my stomach continued to collect bile.  That caused me a lot of pain so the tube had to be put in to drain the bile.  As you can see from pic 2 I was not a happy camper.   I tell ya God and I had a lot of conversations during these past 2 weeks.  With that tube in my throat it was painful to talk, even tho I still did at times...lol  Now during this whole time I found out I had pneumonia, even had one night they thought I had a heart attack.  Thankfully there was no muscle damage. I was transferred to 6 different rooms I think.

 Because every time something majored happened I was sent to Immediate Care Unit. Now since I was not able to get up and walk around I ended up with a blood clot in my leg.  So that had me in the hospital for 4 extra days trying to get my blood levels right.  I have to be on coumadin for the next 3 months and be careful.  This should be interesting cause I am accident prone..lol. My last couple of days in the hospital I was starting to break down.  I was missing my husband so much( even tho he was there everyday) and my kids that is was really starting to hurt.  I was sick of people waking me up every couple of minutes asking for my blood pressure, asking if I had a bowel movement ( I think about 5 different people ask me this a day) I just wanted to yell "LEAVE ME ALONE".  You know it's bad when I got excited for meal time.

I look at my life different now.. I see my place in this world different. I heard something while in the hospital ( don't remember where cause I was pretty drugged up)  I wasn't living my life I was just existing.   I don't want to just exist anymore. Laying in that bed not able to do much ... I was just existing.  I don't want that for my life anymore.  I have been told by several people through out my life that I should write a book.  Nay said she would help me.  Once I am all healed there are other ventures I plan on perusing.

I could have never imagine fighting so hard to get well.  Just wanting to feel normal, not be so tired, not hurt, look at pizza and not feel nauseous. 2012 has been the year to rebuilding my body. I know God has big plans for me and I need to be at my best. After 2012 I will be able to become that woman.  So for now I am resting and letting my body heal, and letting the drugs get out of my system  and getting healthy for my next level.

Surgery Day

So I'm sitting here in the dark.  It's a couples of hours before I loose my "girlie parts".  I'm not worried.  God  got this. I know I will be ok.  I took a nice long hot shower.  Not sure when I will be able to do that anytime soon..lol   and I did shave my legs. That was the one thing I wanted to do so bad after my mastectomy and had to wait weeks to do it.

I am so looking forward to feeling better.  I know the doctors will be checking if cancer is anywhere else. I'm not worried... God got this. With God by my side, I have healed from my surgeries very well.  I'm just tired of being cut up on.  Well this is something that has to be done, I'm tired of looking pregnant.  And if I didn't know any better it looks like it is getting bigger and bigger every week. I'm going to do a before and after pic later this morning. After all this is said and done I just might get my 20 maybe 30 year old body back ( I have to admit, I did look good back then..lol)

I am happy my husband and kids will be there with me.  Nay came down last night.  She is going to stay with me while I'm in the hospital.  She is good at making sure those nurses do what they suppose to do...lol .

Well, I have to go finish getting things ready to go to the hospital.  I will stay in touch.

Surgery

I got the news on 9/11 that I have to have a complete hysterectomy next Wed.  I also found out that because of the size of my uterus ( size of someone 5 to 6 months preggo) and how fast it grew it has cause other issues inside of me(part of it from the tamoxifen) that's why I need surgery so soon.  He is moving other people out the way to fit me in. 

Dr. Miller is great.  He was very very thorough with telling me all my options and the pros and cons of everything and the effect it will have on my body. He explained everything that is going on inside..... and there is alot happening in there, much more than I knew. 

I was very disappointed with the news of the hysterectomy.  I understand why I need it and I welcome feeling better. Plus it will improve the chances of the cancer not coming back even more. It's just not what I wanted.  It eliminates any chance of having a child with my husband.  It still hurts when I sit and think about it. That was something I wanted to really share with him.  I am thankful for the 3 children I do have.  I think it is awesome that my lil Dylan looks like me even tho I didn't give birth to him. :) .

For many many years I wouldn't follow God's plan for me.  Thinking I knew what was best or what I can do better.  In Aug of 1997 God forced me on his plan.  It wasn't easy and it wasn't painless but I am so glad He did it.  See I get these ideas in my head and God has a way of letting me know that is not what He has planned for me.  Like right after I got the news it took me an hour to get home(normally 30 min trip)  I had time to process what I was told.  I was still in shock but God had time for me to hear Him and I understood why a little better.  I don't like it but I understand. Ohhhh yea.. Now the day I find out this news, that night my phone dies.  The one time I put my phone in Dylan's diaper bag, his sippy cup leaks on my phone.  I didn't get a new phone until noon the next day.  It was weird sitting in the house not talking to somebody about what was happening.  Then I realized that God wanted me to think and plan this out and I wouldn't have been able to if I was on the phone so much.

I'm not upset anymore. I am content with what has to be done.  See during my quiet time yesterday I thought about the positive ..... I won't have a period anymore!!! YAYYYYYYY.  He said that I won't feel much different than I do now on tamoxifen. I can handle that. NO MORE PMS!!!!!!!!  and I suffered and my family did also...lol    I will save money on feminine products..Thank the Lord.... I will loose weight getting rid of my preggo stomach.  I will feel better in general.  I haven't felt really well in years. So I am looking forward to being able to be "normal" again. Goodness the fibromyalgia has been a cake walk compared to this mess I have been dealing with lately....lol

In general I will be a much healthier person after this surgery.  Yes I am very tired of being cut on and I will have a new scar but they will be my battle scars, my survivor scars.  They are proof of the things I have overcame.  Some of them have made me sad and some have made me happy ( the boob job...lol)  But all of them have made me better and stronger.