Today I am feel good. I washed my hair by myself. I had to do it in the kitchen sink because of the drain tube still in me but It is done and I feel so much better. I would love to flat iron it but I know that will have to wait so it's just wrapped up. I was able to put a shirt over my head yesterday. It was a big tshirt so I didn't have to raise my arm much. I'm gonna start working on getting my stamina up. This being tired all the time is for the birds. As soon as I can I'm going to take up yoga... I know it will be a few weeks before I can Zumba. I know I have to take better care of myself to help keep the cancer from coming back.
We did get good news last night. My hubby found a house for us. He want me to go see it before he sign anything, so tomorrow will be the first time out the house and not seeing a Dr. I am a little nervous cause of how I look. If I wear a big shirt you won't see the difference. as soon as I get the ok from my plastic surgeon, the American Cancer Society will help me even things out...lol So with all that said, I will probably be moving at the end of March.
Thanks to Facebook I have been able to still chat with my daughter while she is in Italy. It's funny she had been over there for only 2 days and she already have over 200 pic posted on her page. I love it because I feel like I am visiting Italy without leaving my living room. I can't wait to go visit someday. I'm looking forward to my life being normal again. Well as close to normal as my life can be...lol. I'm looking at life a little different and the people in it...but that's another whole blog entry. I feel a change coming.......
Showing posts with label biopsy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biopsy. Show all posts
Friday, March 2, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
This Weekend
Ok this is the weekend before my surgery. My nerves are getting bad..It's getting harder to hide them. Matt and Jay and I watched Bad Teacher last night...very funny movie..I need funny movies right now. We bought a couple of things that I will need after surgery.. That started to get to me until my brother "ROB" called me (I repeat I don't call him that)..lol His calls seem to come at the perfect time to make me laugh. Jay is being wonderful too. He is getting real good with rubbing my feet to help me relax. Nay is going to spend the night with me at the hospital. I have been really blessed me with these 2 great kids. I have been trying to keep my mind busy. The fibromyalgia has me very tired these days. My Dr. told me its normal considering the stress I'm under. Oh I have been cleared for surgery. My blood pressure finally lower. I still have to watch my diet. I think I need to start those anti anxiety meds again. As much as I don't like them, they probably help my blood pressure.
I'm glad we have the women's session tonight Detox 2012, Agape Christian Center 4601 York Road, Baltimore, MD 21212 @ 7pm. ok there's my plug...lol It's easier when I can focus on helping others and not thinking about myself. I'm gonna go get my toes done so I will at least have pretty feet. I was going to get my hair done but changed my mind because I will sleep on pain meds for quite a bit so I'm gonna wait until after surgery. I plan on crocheting while I recover so be on the look out for some of my new creations. :) Now I just need to get laundry done and clean my bedroom and buy some PJs then, I think I will have everything ready.. I guess as ready as I'm gonna be
I'm glad we have the women's session tonight Detox 2012, Agape Christian Center 4601 York Road, Baltimore, MD 21212 @ 7pm. ok there's my plug...lol It's easier when I can focus on helping others and not thinking about myself. I'm gonna go get my toes done so I will at least have pretty feet. I was going to get my hair done but changed my mind because I will sleep on pain meds for quite a bit so I'm gonna wait until after surgery. I plan on crocheting while I recover so be on the look out for some of my new creations. :) Now I just need to get laundry done and clean my bedroom and buy some PJs then, I think I will have everything ready.. I guess as ready as I'm gonna be
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Hold Still
The last couple of days have been tough. I have been on the verge of tears most of the time. I had a very hard time with not having a plastic surgeon to do the reconstruction surgery right away. My brain just couldn't accept waking up to having nothing there. I understand it is just a breast and the cancer had to go but the thought of nothing being there was sending me to a very dark place. I have been taking the anti anxiety meds the Dr. gave me. I felt myself needing them more and more.
Well the good news is that my lymph nodes are just inflamed from infection from the last biopsy. So I'm happy about that. Now back to the reconstruction, my new cousin by marriage Lashawn, has gone thru this 2 years ago. She has been such a wonderful support. She has called me almost every day to make sure I'm ok. I told her where I was mentally. She told me to FIGHT and FIGHT some more. Cause I was just ready to let the surgery happen and deal with what came. But Lashawn gave me her plastic surgeon's name. I looked it up and email him. He is the head plastic surgeon at another hospital. If I was having it at his hospital he would do it but he has obligations to where he is at now. I understood. He explained everything that will happen and encouraged me to stay with my current Dr. cause he is the best in what he does. He left his personal number and offered to make some calls for me. It was nice to know that I had a surgeon after the mastectomy but that didn't help me right now. I remember yelling out to God to help me cause this was getting real hard real fast. All I heard was " I got you". 2 days later I was sitting in my car after I dropped Jayson at school and looked down at my breast and try to imagine it not being there. I knew if I went thru with things as planned I will need some serious counseling afterwards. God told me to tell my Dr. So I sent my Dr. an email describing how I was feeling. Less than an hour later he replied back saying he was going to make some calls. That lifted my spirits. So an hour later his office coordinator calls and tells me that I have a plastic surgeon to put the expander in which I have to have in for 3 months and I can have any other surgeon to finish up the job. I fell to my knees thanking God. I haven't felt the need to take the meds or even felt like crying. I'm actually my happy positive self again and looking forward to getting this over with and start healing and moving on with my life. God keeps telling me to hold still and don't move until I say so. Its hard when you are use to being the fixer in people's lives. Candy is doing as she is told...lol . There is no way you can convince me there is no God. Look how he is working in my life. I just have to HOLD STILL and LISTEN
Well the good news is that my lymph nodes are just inflamed from infection from the last biopsy. So I'm happy about that. Now back to the reconstruction, my new cousin by marriage Lashawn, has gone thru this 2 years ago. She has been such a wonderful support. She has called me almost every day to make sure I'm ok. I told her where I was mentally. She told me to FIGHT and FIGHT some more. Cause I was just ready to let the surgery happen and deal with what came. But Lashawn gave me her plastic surgeon's name. I looked it up and email him. He is the head plastic surgeon at another hospital. If I was having it at his hospital he would do it but he has obligations to where he is at now. I understood. He explained everything that will happen and encouraged me to stay with my current Dr. cause he is the best in what he does. He left his personal number and offered to make some calls for me. It was nice to know that I had a surgeon after the mastectomy but that didn't help me right now. I remember yelling out to God to help me cause this was getting real hard real fast. All I heard was " I got you". 2 days later I was sitting in my car after I dropped Jayson at school and looked down at my breast and try to imagine it not being there. I knew if I went thru with things as planned I will need some serious counseling afterwards. God told me to tell my Dr. So I sent my Dr. an email describing how I was feeling. Less than an hour later he replied back saying he was going to make some calls. That lifted my spirits. So an hour later his office coordinator calls and tells me that I have a plastic surgeon to put the expander in which I have to have in for 3 months and I can have any other surgeon to finish up the job. I fell to my knees thanking God. I haven't felt the need to take the meds or even felt like crying. I'm actually my happy positive self again and looking forward to getting this over with and start healing and moving on with my life. God keeps telling me to hold still and don't move until I say so. Its hard when you are use to being the fixer in people's lives. Candy is doing as she is told...lol . There is no way you can convince me there is no God. Look how he is working in my life. I just have to HOLD STILL and LISTEN
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Surgery :( :)
My surgery is scheduled for Feb 15, 2012. 7:30 am. My life will change that day. Last night I had another biopsy done cause my lymph nodes were inflamed and the Dr. is concerned that the cancer is draining there. I find out tonight if it's cancer. If so I can't have reconstruction right away even if I want it. I have been praying it's just an infection from the last biopsy. My brain is kinda numb it's like some crazy dream I can't wake up from. This is so hard to believe this is happening to me. But you know what.. I'm gonna find something to laugh about everyday, even if it just some pretty flowers to look at and smell. My positive mind will be working overdrive. This will not overtake me mentally! So get ready world a crazier and stronger Candy is about to be unleashed! Ok Now I need a superhero name..Hmmmmm. So with my battle cry and superhero name...Cancer doesn't have a chance...lol GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
The Beginning
At the age of 41, I found the first lump 2 weeks before my wedding. I was married on 11/11/2011. I just thought is was a clogged milk duct like I use to get when I was breastfeeding cause it hurt when touched. I was in no rush to get a mammogram but I promised my new husband that I would get one. I already had a gyn appointment scheduled for when after we got back from our honeymoon. My Dr. thought the same thing it was just a cyst or something but I still needed to get a mammogram.
The week before Christmas I went for the mammogram. I had been praying and talking with God and He kept telling me I will be ok. I was still a little nervous since this was my first mammo. it was a weird experience having my boob smooshed like that..lol I also had to have an ultrasound done just to get a better look at the lump I found. Well that trip didn't end up like I thought. I knew something was up because the tech took an awful lot of pics for something simple. I knew something was wrong. She left and a Dr. came in and told me that they found another lump and they have to do a biopsy. At that time God told me it was cancer. I didn't want to believe it. They wanted to schedule the biopsy the Friday before Christmas but I didn't want to deal with that news for the holiday. When I left the office all I wanted was to be in the presence of my husband. So I drove right to his office. His boss is wonderful and gave him the rest of the day off just to be with me.
My biopsy was scheduled for Jan 3rd 2012 . Of course my wonderful husband came with me. The procedure it self is not painful afterwards the Dr. told me to come back in 6 months. I was surprised because of what God had told me but I was willing to accept that. I was told I would get an email with the results of the biopsy. I never got that email. Jan. 4th 2012 my life changed. Matt was at a late meeting at work when I got the phone call. The Dr. said he was shocked but the tumors were cancer. He explained to me that they behaved as though they were cyst. I understood because now it went along with God had said. I have breast cancer. He did say it was a very low grade and very treatable and curable. My first thought was "how am I going to tell my husband" "How am I going to tell my kids". Well my first call was to my mommy...lol She was the first person I thought to call, then my dad,then my daughter and then my brother Billy. Who was able to make me laugh which was what I needed. My 13 year old son overheard me telling my father, so I had to sit him down and explain that I'm not going to die and everything will be ok. Telling my husband was hard but he has been my rock. So This is the beginning of my Journey to be a survivor.
The week before Christmas I went for the mammogram. I had been praying and talking with God and He kept telling me I will be ok. I was still a little nervous since this was my first mammo. it was a weird experience having my boob smooshed like that..lol I also had to have an ultrasound done just to get a better look at the lump I found. Well that trip didn't end up like I thought. I knew something was up because the tech took an awful lot of pics for something simple. I knew something was wrong. She left and a Dr. came in and told me that they found another lump and they have to do a biopsy. At that time God told me it was cancer. I didn't want to believe it. They wanted to schedule the biopsy the Friday before Christmas but I didn't want to deal with that news for the holiday. When I left the office all I wanted was to be in the presence of my husband. So I drove right to his office. His boss is wonderful and gave him the rest of the day off just to be with me.
My biopsy was scheduled for Jan 3rd 2012 . Of course my wonderful husband came with me. The procedure it self is not painful afterwards the Dr. told me to come back in 6 months. I was surprised because of what God had told me but I was willing to accept that. I was told I would get an email with the results of the biopsy. I never got that email. Jan. 4th 2012 my life changed. Matt was at a late meeting at work when I got the phone call. The Dr. said he was shocked but the tumors were cancer. He explained to me that they behaved as though they were cyst. I understood because now it went along with God had said. I have breast cancer. He did say it was a very low grade and very treatable and curable. My first thought was "how am I going to tell my husband" "How am I going to tell my kids". Well my first call was to my mommy...lol She was the first person I thought to call, then my dad,then my daughter and then my brother Billy. Who was able to make me laugh which was what I needed. My 13 year old son overheard me telling my father, so I had to sit him down and explain that I'm not going to die and everything will be ok. Telling my husband was hard but he has been my rock. So This is the beginning of my Journey to be a survivor.
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