Feeling some kind of way

I'm feeling some kind of way today.  Today is the day I get the results of the OncotypeDX Test (tells me the chances of the cancer coming back).  I find out if I need chemo or not.  I know God told me "just surgery"  He also told me I will be ok.  Me and my family have been given so many blessings sine we found out about the cancer.  God has told me this road will be tough and hard but it will be worth it in the end.  I was also told that there are more blessings to come.

While looking over the paperwork and my pathology report I notice that my cancer had changed.  When it was first found they were a stage 0 and stage 1.  By the time of surgery they were a stage 1 and stage 2.  The tumors had grown larger. So I know several of my other numbers that they use as markers must have increased. That is why I am concerned.  I wonder if the original treatment plan has changed.  God has me on this road where I don't know where I going and all I know is I will be ok at the end.  This is not easy to surrender all to God (especially when I like to control everything...lol)  I know this is a test of my faith and each time I hold on He blesses me for my obedience. I'm not sure if being scared is what I'm feeling or worry.. I don't know what it is I just feel some kind of way.

I still don't like taking a shower.  I haven't gotten use to my new body.  The good thing is that when I went to church this past Sunday, you couldn't tell anything was gone cause I have so  much padding compressing me I look almost even.lol   I know I will have new boobs by summer..... There goes that test of patience again I guess..lol.. This blog has been great therapy. I have been reading other survivors stories too.  They seem to help a lot. So tonight I find out how I will be spending my spring and summer.  All I keep hearing is God saying" I got you"

1st DR. appointment

Today was my 1st appointment with the plastic surgeon since the surgery.  I'm not feel that great cause of some swelling under my arm.  Everything else is healing well but she had me go over to my other Dr. office so he can see if the swelling is from fluid building up.  uggggg.  Well they did an ultrasound and found no fluid.  He said it was probably inflammation and put me on an anti inflammatory.  I hope this stuff works fast.My arm hurts and I can rest it comfortably any way.    My daddy was great driving me to each doctors' offices and picking up meds from the drug store.  I was very tired by the time I made it back home but it still was nice to go outside.  Still haven't gotten the pathology report back.  I hate waiting.  Something good did happen.  I can home to an Edible Creation waiting for me.  My old boss from Jackson Hewitt sent it to me.  Miss Sylvia is so great.  I do miss working with her.  I still have this stupid drainage tube connected to me.  I'm praying I can get it removed by next Tuesday.  I can't do anything until it's gone.  I want a hot shower soooo bad!!!!!  I'm tired of being tired.  I want to exercise.  I guess I have to be patient.... what choice do I really have..lol