Birthday Weekend WHEW!!!!

This is my husband and youngest son's birthday weekend.  Matt's birthday was Friday and Dylan turns 3 on Monday.  I was being superwoman the past couple days.  I am really feeling it today.  I had a great time hanging out with hubby for his birthday on Friday...did some shopping, went for his free birthday breakfast and just had a very restful day.  Saturday we had a Birthday Bash Cookout.  It was a lot of fun.  I did a little too much.  I had to soak in some Epsom salt last night.  I think this is more my fibro and my head acting up.  My head didn't hurt just felt weird.  It is kinda hard to explain. My memory was pretty bad by the evening and everything hurts especially my feet and hips.  Walking is no fun.  And being tired... I don't think there is a word for how tired I felt yesterday.  But it was all worth it to see my guys smile and having fun.  We had a great turn out and the  kids got to hang in the pool. The crabs were real good but hubby's strawberry shortcake birthday cake was the BEST.  lol  I totally blew my weight loss plan this weekend.  I will start up again Tuesday because Monday we got to celebrate my little Dilly's (Dylan) 3rd birthday.  Even tho he really don't know what is going on we still got to do something for him.  Our plan is to take him to the zoo for the day.  He loves animals.  If it rains we will go to the aquarium.  Maybe even to Port Discovery.  I love seeing him so happy.  So I'm gonna rest up today, finish off those crabs.  Pain meds and I are going to be good friends today. So tomorrow the Birthday Bash Celebrating continues!!

Week 6 & 7 Recovery

 Well I had a little bit of an issue early in 6th week... but it was the nerves waking up and it was painful.  It let me dizzy and just felt bad.  It only lasted a couple of days.  But the pain shows up off and on and throws me off. I'm getting out and walking more.  I just can't walk as fast as I use to ....dizziness kicks in so slow going for me.  I had a great time for my birthday(March 28).  Had breakfast with my mom and then a long nap(3 hours) then dinner with hubby at a hibachi restaurant.  It was fun.  I was concerned if the noise from the chef would bother me and it didn't.  The lights were low and it wasn't real noisy.  I loved it.  Then my daughter came in town to pamper me.  So her and her best friend Symone took me to the MAC store to get my makeup done.  I felt nice to brighten up my look. It felt to nice to feel pretty. I enjoyed being in the mall.  I has been a long time since I have been able to walk around a mall.  We got there early to make it easier on me. By the time we left it was pretty busy and things were bothering me. Between the lights and the people and just mall noise it was getting to be a bit much and I started to get pains in my head.  Then we went to get our nails done.  That was nice and relaxing. It has been over a year since I had my nails done so I enjoyed the pampering.  Then we went to a nice Mexican restaurant that reminded Nay of Texas. I needed a very long nap after that day. 

Now week 7.  I went to church (where my husband is the pastor) Sunday.  Loved it.  I miss my Faith Church Baltimore family and fellowship.  I was tired but it was a good tired.  The noise bother me some.  My head feels like it is tightening along the incision and I still get shocks of sharp pains  at time.  I drove this week.  I had to take Dylan to the DR. for a checkup.  I did good driving.  Now having a toddler all day by myself is another story. I get tired very easy.  I don't have the energy to care for a 2 year old all day.  I thank God for Aunt Ann.  She has been a true blessing watching him during the day while I heal.  When I rest up during the day I have the energy to care for him when he comes home in the evening. 

Now I am experiencing a sweet taste in my mouth all the time.  I go to see the dr. next week.  I'm not getting headaches as much.  Just the sharp pains that come and go.  I can actually say I am feeling good. I feel my life is better since Mindy the Meningioma was removed.  I am getting stronger and stronger every day.  God gets all the Glory.  I trusted Him.  I trusted He would care for me and He did. I am proof that God will keep his promises. But that will be another whole post...lol.   I'm not 100% yet I would say 70%.  There are still some things I can't do but I am healing and happy.  I'm gonna try water aerobics this weekend to see if I can handle it. I am walking more than I was able to before the surgery.  I am taking one day at a time. But I am having more good days than bad.

So very Thankful. 

YAYYYYYYYY for TODAY!!! 2 YEARS

YAYYYYYYYYY...Today is my 2 year Cancer Free Anniversary!!!!.  2 years ago today cancer was removed from my body.  I am so very thankful to still be alive.  Yes the last couple of years have been tough but I am cancer free. I really didn't realize how mentally tough I am. But God knew.  He knew I could handle this battle and win.  Through the last 2 years I have been able to inspire women with cancer to have faith in God to help them thru this crazy journey.  I cry tears of happiness  that I made it this far.  2 years cancer free. You always fear the cancer will come back especially since I did keep one breast but God has been showering me with FAVOR.  I pray I will continue to receive His cancer free blessings for many many more years.  I plan on being around for my baby Dylan's children.  I am also thankful for the blessing of my loving husband.  He has loved me so much thru this and continues to shower me with more and more love.  That is the best medicine a woman  can get. When I start to fall he is right there to pick me up and dust me off and push me to keep going.  And I am thankful for my parents. They have been the best, being there to care for me, take me to appointments or just love on me when I needed them.  And can't forget my kids.  They keep a smile on my face.  My daughter makes me so proud of the woman she has become, she calls me almost everyday sometime several times a day. My middle son takes great care of me. Even tho he is becoming a young man he stills hugs and kisses me every morning and every night, and my baby boy won't let me be sad. He is always doing something to make me laugh and his little hugs and kisses and songs always make me feel better.  Yes I am a 2 YEAR SURVIVOR !

2012...WOW

This year has been a true challenge for me. My life has changed in ways I never would have imagined. But it all has not been bad.  Because of the cancer we found our baby boy  :)   Breast cancer and the unexpected hysterectomy and my 3 surgeries , 2 1/2 week hospital stay( pneumonia, tube in my nose to my stomach for 2 weeks, IV in my neck, almost heart attack...no muscle damage so it wasn't a heart attack,that is what the Dr.'s said, blood clot in my leg), and burning my hand.  All this happening while we had to move from a house that was literally falling apart, to our church(for a very short time) to our home now.  Our church was going thru transition during the same time.

 I survived!!!! With God and my husband I have made it. My faith in God is even stronger than ever before. I want to thank my mom and dad for their support. It would have been a lot tougher without their help. I want to thank Matt's family, his mom and aunts and cousin for caring for Dylan when I was in the hospital and while I was recovering.  This year I truly discovered that I have the best, loving, compassionate, fabulous children God can create. Chardiney and Jayson took such good care of me when I couldn't care for myself.  They are going to make great spouses and parents. Last but surely not least I want to thank my loving husband Matthew Bradby. He made me feel so loved and beautiful when I didn't feel the same.  He has been by side whenever I needed him.   I love him so much.  He took great care of the boys when I was in the hospital and worked and pastored the church and still came to see me every day. You know the part in the marriage vows for better or worst... I guess we got the worst out the way first. I am so thankful for him.

But this year wasn't all bad.  I added a new member to my family and I love him as tho I birthed him myself.  He has brought so much love and joy to our family... DYLAN.  My oldest child Chardiney graduated from Wesely College and is in grad school and join the Air Force Reserve. I couldn't be more proud of her. My son Jay stepped it up and took on more responsibility with caring for his brother and me.  So proud of the young man he is becoming.

2012 has taught me I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. God does answer prayers. He will take care of all your needs,,, you just have to ask.  Now I did say NEEDS.  Everything happens for a reason.  I am excited for 2013. God has been showing his power in my family's life quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. I will continue to praise Him and give thanks. Thank You Father God for loving me so much!

I have messed up

Here I go being hard-headed.... I have hurt myself.   I am not suppose to pick up anything heavier than a gallon of milk.  Well I have been feeling very well and much stronger lately.  Well I was feeding Dylan and he was done and without thinking I picked him up out of his highchair instead of calling Jay or Matt to get him.  Now the bottom of my incision has been hurting when I sneeze or laugh but I pulled something down there and now I have sharp pains,,,very sharp pains, especially when I move.  The surgeon's office said pulled a muscle.. All I know it hurts bad!!!  I am fine as long as I sit still.  I am so tired of sitting still. I know... I know.. I had major surgery and it will take time for me to heal....uggggggggg.  

Well I am starting a new blog that will list freebies and deals.  I think this will be good for me since I have "rest" in order to get better.  So later today or tomorrow I will have it up and running.  I am also going to have a facebook page to go with it.

Dylan even has lost weight since we got him and he didn't even feel heavy.  GOSH.. my body is so sensitive...lol.  I am praying this is the last surgery I will ever need in my life.  Recovery time is getting more and more frustrating.  The holidays are here and I want to start baking.  I have done a little by keeping a chair near the stove.  But I really need to be sitting still. 

So as they say... a hard head makes a soft bottom... my bottom is getting soft by sitting to healed....lol

Pool

Yesterday was the first time I have been to the pool this season.  The main reason I wanted to go was to get my boys out the house.  All I could wear was a bathing suit bottom because I still have to wear the surgical vest a little longer. So I just wore a top over it. 

It felt nice to be outside.  I think it was the most time I have been outside since my surgery. I was a little self conscious because I am still a little loop sided due to swelling. But it was nice to be out with the boys.  It was Dylan's first time at the pool.  He was happy at first until he fell and went face first into the water then he wasn't sure about all this water.  He did keep walking to it...lol  He kept looking at the other kids like "why are you here".  Jay got to see he friends from last summer. So it was very nice.  I needed that. I felt somewhat normal.  I can't wait until I am cleared to drive.  We will be at the pool much more.

Post surgery

Wow that was an experience,  It was funny cause I didn't remember much that happened before my mastectomy last time.  That gosh darn lorazipan works wonders.  But this time I didn't take anything ... I was ready for this. I had the operating team laughing because I pretty much jump up on the table before they were ready for me..lol  Then afterwards ugggggggggg.. The pain was bad. it was getting close to labor pains.  I started to cry it was so bad.  I have a high pain threshold from dealing with the fibromyalgia.  That didn't make any difference I was hurting.. They kept giving me pain meds then they gave me liquid Tylenol.  That stuff works.  I'm on percocet now.  I seem to be in constant pain but not as bad as earlier.. It's like a burning sensation on the left side of my chest. I keep being told the results are worth it..  HMMMMMM they better be nice...lol  this mess hurts.

The good thing is I am able to move around better today.. got all that pain meds and anesthesia  from the hospital out of my system. My head doesn't feel fuzzy anymore. Now don't get me wrong I am so ever thankful for being able to have this surgery.  There are so many women that can't have reconstruction surgery for one reason or another. I have read the stories of my cancer friends and they seem to be going thru so much more than me.  I pray for them everyday.  These are some tough women. They make my journey look like a walk in the park. They still support and encourage me when needed. 

I am looking forward to healing so I can hold my baby Dylan again.  I kept kissing on him yesterday morning. He was looking at me like he knew why. I can't wait until I am able to tale him to the pool.  My big boy Jay has been such a blessing I really can't imagine life with out him. Nay couldn't come down because it was her first day on the job.  Last but definitely not least my hubby... he even went without food because I couldn't eat.  I love him so so much..

So now I focus on healing and moving.  Still got stuff to pack. I'm going to more of a director than anything else.  What a busy week we have.

Renewed Inspiriation

It's funny how God works.  Yesterday was my baby boy Dylan's 1st birthday.  Now lately I have been getting frustrated with having to deal with the side effects of the tamoxifen  to the point I just wanted to stop taking it.  Well after seeing my kids yesterday, my fab daughter Nay just graduating from college and Jay almost in Highschool and lil Dylan.. his life is just starting and don't forget my husband... the smiles on his face yesterday. I have to be around for a very very long time.  God is only going to do so much... I have to do my part also.

One of my husband's oldest friends told me yesterday that this is the happiest they have ever seen my husband in his life.  I wanted to cry.  I turned around and looked at him laughing with family, Jay running around with the little ones, Nay chatting away with friend and Dylan toddling around...all smiles.  This is all I ever wanted, to see my family happy.  I was very happy that my little brother Cory stopped by. Family is so very important to me. Family is worth fighting for my life.  God is not going to fight alone. I have to do my part.

God knows I am hardheaded.  So he will wait until he knows I will listen after I have suffered some. Knowing I will hear what He has to say.  This time he didn't have to speak.  He just showed me. When your eyes are opened by God it's very.....hmmmmmm.. I  can't even think of a word to describe the feeling.  I just know what needs to be done to get what I want.

Thank you God for my family as crazy and eclectic as they may be, I love them... thank you for renewing my need to fight this cancer with everything I have. 

me not like Tamoxifen

Being on tamoxifen will be a challenge.... a challenge to continue taking these pills.  Most people take medicine to feel better.  Its hard to keep taking a pill that makes you feel worst than you did when you didn't take it.  The fatigue, joint pain and nausea sucks.  The hot flashes, I can handle. Give me a fan and I am happy.  I really hate that something that can save my life makes me feel so bad. :(   I guess I'm just having one of those bad days. 

Still looking for a place to live.  The one good this is that my baby boy is turning 1 year old on Sat.  He likes being around lots of people so this party should be fun.  He is walking ... well he can walk until he gets excited..lol it's funny to watch.

Looking at my kids pushes me to take these pills. I know it won't be forever but 2-5 years seems a long time. I tell you, my faith in God and and constant reminders of God's promises to me... I really don't know how I would have gone thru this.  Thank You God.

June 18th Yayyy!!!

June 18th is the day of my reconstruction. It is the day that I will feel almost normal again.  I will feel completely normal when I stop taking the tamoxifen. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I won't have to stay overnight.  YAYYY!!  Jay will be out of school to help me with Dylan for a couple of days. Oh I found out that my baby girl starts he NEW JOB with Discover as a credit analyst on the same day.  I am so proud of her. Now we just need to move into new home asap ( landlord doesn't want to fix some major problems with the house) and everything will be great.

I know my journey is not over but in June i will feel like that half  the race has been ran. Feb. 15th seems so far away, That was the day my body was changed. Jan 4, was the day my life was changed. 

Now this tamoxifen.  I didn't take it for 2 days cause I was just feeling so bad on it I started back up on Tues. feeling a little better.  Still having trouble staying asleep, now I have lower back pain.  The nausea isn't as bad if at all, no headaches, I do seem to be thirsty a lot.  The fatigue is still bad but I also feel that has a lot to do with my lack of restful sleep. 

So today I will start packing up this house cause we got to move no matter what. I'm glad I am strong enough to take care of this.. With this tamoxifen in my system, it will take a bit longer.  But I'm tough...lol.  I guess we will go house hunting this weekend. Still hanging in there.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day felt different for me this year. I was happy to have all my kids together but sadden at the same time for my husband's family,  Looking at my mother in law and her sisters knowing that had to bury their mother tomorrow breaks my heart.

I am happy to be free from cancer this Mother's day.  The meds they have me on are becoming a challenge but a challenge that is worth taking.  Just look at my 3 wonderful children.  Nay drove down for the day  It was nice sitting down and eating crabs with Nay and Jay. Dylan was sleep of course. I really enjoy being a mother. Listening to my daughter talk about her future and wanting to be a mom warms my heart.  I know she will be a great mother. I believe Jay will be an awesome dad some day.  He is so loving and caring.  As for my baby boy Dylan... it's hard to tell now but I know with the right guidance and love he will be just like his brother and sister.

I am happy to be a mom, momma and mommy. knowing I'm responsible for making these kids into responsible adults use to scare me but after seeing how my daughter turned out.... I'm pretty good at this mothering thing..lol

Thank you God for trusting me with these 3 children.

Blessings

I haven't  written much lately because I have been pleasantly distracted.  We picked up our soon to be adopted son Dylan (10 months) on Good Friday.  God has blessed me with this little boy.  Giving him to me at the most perfect time.  Everything that I'm going thru right now I needed somebody who needs me more than anything. I don't think about what I don't have or even what I want.  I have somebody who needs are a little more important than mine. Matt made sure I was healed enough to be able to care for Dylan.  He even was a little surprise how well I was doing with him. I knew I was ready for this baby. He is the one person in my life that does not know about the breast cancer. He doesn't treat me gingerly as a matter of fact I get pushed in my chest often.  Good thing I'm still numb there..lol.  I still can't believe I am doing this all over again.  Ohh yeahhh did I tell you that this baby looks like me..lol    This little boy has won my heart.  I don't dwell on the bad stuff any more.  Evey thing is positive now, looking forward to many many many years with my kids. Mommy loves you Chardiney, Jayson and Dylan.

New family member

Wow Matt and I just brought home our son yesterday... Dylan, he is 10 months old.  I still doesn't seem real. We could have had him earlier but Matt wanted to make sure I was healed enough to care for  a baby. I am doing very well, of course my right side is still sore and I can't reach but so far and I feel like I have a brick in my chest.  I am driving some now.. Just running to the store..I get sore from driving too much.  I go for another fill on Tuesday.

I am so happy.  This will be the first Easter in a very long time that I will have all my kids together. Nay and Jayson are so taken with Dylan.  He seems crazy about them also.  He did great all day until bedtime. He fell asleep in my arms and every time I went to lay him down he would wake up right away crying.  I felt bad for him, knowing he was in a new place and wondering where are the things he was familiar with. I just kept reassuring him that everything is ok and I am here for him.  This family has so much love to give to him.  I am so happy we were able to take him and keep him out of the foster care system. 

God has truly blessed me,  a great husband, wonderful children and cancer free!!!!!