This month is bittersweet for me. I am a proud 2 1/2 years survivor. I am doing well in all aspects of my health. For some reason this month leaves me with mix feelings. I'm happy that I am healthy and doing well. I feel so bless that God has taken care for me and kept me. I don't like my scars. I don't like the changes in my body. I feel bad that others breast cancer journey has been tougher than mine. I feel bad because some have even lost their battle. I guess it is what called survivor's guilt. I am so thankful that I am doing well but my heart breaks for those who are not. Seeing all the pink makes me happy and sad that there is so much pink around. This disease is affecting young women at an alarming rate. Plus they are getting the aggressive breast cancer. I was blessed that my cancer was 1A. Still treated with surgery but no chemo, no radiation. It is so important to get your mammograms on time. I found 1 lump on my own but the mammogram for a 2nd. My cancer was found early. These days it doesn't matter how old you are if you feel something different with your breast, Please, Please get checked out. This disease is no joke and the earlier it is found the better.
The Breast Cancer Club is one I didn't want to join but proud I am a survivor, so I can help others. So I am here for anybody who needs to talk and just want an ear to listen and someone who understands all the crazy feelings you are having. Or if you just need some info. Did you know 1 in 8 women are diagnosed with breast cancer? Crazy isn't it! I didn't have breast cancer in my family. I am the first. So don't think it won't happen to you.
Bittersweet it is.
Showing posts with label mammogram. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mammogram. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
October..... Can I be Honest
Can I be honest. This is a hard month for me. Yes I am so very thankful for being cancer free right now and I am so very thankful that I didn't have to go thru chemo or radiation. It's just kinda hard seeing the changes my body has gone thru in the past year and a half with all the surgeries I needed. There are some other things going on but I don't want to discuss them until some more conformation later this month. I am still not able to do some of things I use to do or want to do.The meds are rough on me with some of the side effects. Sometimes I just want to forget I ever had cancer. Cancer has really turned my life upside down. This surgery induced menopause I'm in doesn't help either..lol Maybe I am just a little more emotional lol. I think a lot of it has to do with not having much control over my body...
The up side is that I am cancer free. Because of I what I have gone thru many women I know have gone and had their mammograms. Thank God no one has been diagnosed with breast cancer.... that I know of. This is not an easy fight. It's a battle physically, mentally and emotionally. God has help me keep laughing thru this journey. I still have a very long life to live. I have had to make a few adjustments but I plan on being around to see my great grans. God has help me become a stronger person over the last year.
So rock your Pink this month... Get you Mammogram!!
The up side is that I am cancer free. Because of I what I have gone thru many women I know have gone and had their mammograms. Thank God no one has been diagnosed with breast cancer.... that I know of. This is not an easy fight. It's a battle physically, mentally and emotionally. God has help me keep laughing thru this journey. I still have a very long life to live. I have had to make a few adjustments but I plan on being around to see my great grans. God has help me become a stronger person over the last year.
So rock your Pink this month... Get you Mammogram!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
A lil scared
It has been awhile since I have updated my blog. Well I have been going thru a lot of changes lately. I have been having a rough time with the cancer meds I was put on Letrozole. It did not like me. I have bad bone pain and fatigue and it cause my fibromyalgia to flair up real bad. I have been put on several more pills. UGGGGG I am still hanging in there. Tomorrow I go for my mammogram. I am nervous. The last time I went thinking that nothing was wrong, I was given a very rude awaking. I was suppose to also get a MRI but the insurance company doesn't think it is medically necessary... All I can do is shake my head cause it was a MRI that found the microscopic cancer in my right breast so it was definite I needed a mastectomy.
I have been in a ho hum mood lately. I have to go to physical therapy to help manage the pain. I really wish I could go back to work. But it won't be happening any time soon. I will be trying another medicine and hope the side effects are not as bad. If my body doesn't agree with this new one I only have 1 other med to try. Then it just using the lesser of the 3 evils... my doctor's words.
I am thankful I can still care for my family on my good days. It is frustrating not being able to do as much as I use to but I am still alive. Now back to this mammogram tomorrow. *Big Sigh* I go for the mammo then I go over to my breast doctor's office. Praying everything turns out ok. God sure has me on a rough road. When things get hard for my I have the tendency to get quiet and turn inward.. But I know I shouldn't keep all these feelings inside. I am just tired of dealing with cancer and the effects of it on my body. My fibromyalgia was very manageable until the last couple months. I know things will get under control in the future.
Tomorrow scares me.
I have been in a ho hum mood lately. I have to go to physical therapy to help manage the pain. I really wish I could go back to work. But it won't be happening any time soon. I will be trying another medicine and hope the side effects are not as bad. If my body doesn't agree with this new one I only have 1 other med to try. Then it just using the lesser of the 3 evils... my doctor's words.
I am thankful I can still care for my family on my good days. It is frustrating not being able to do as much as I use to but I am still alive. Now back to this mammogram tomorrow. *Big Sigh* I go for the mammo then I go over to my breast doctor's office. Praying everything turns out ok. God sure has me on a rough road. When things get hard for my I have the tendency to get quiet and turn inward.. But I know I shouldn't keep all these feelings inside. I am just tired of dealing with cancer and the effects of it on my body. My fibromyalgia was very manageable until the last couple months. I know things will get under control in the future.
Tomorrow scares me.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Not sure what to think
Today I found out a dear friend got a call back from her mammogram Friday. She is calling them back Monday. Because of what I have gone thru she went and had a mammogram. She asked me to pray for her. Of course I will. I told her to call me as soon after she gets off the pone with them. I really didn't know what to say. I didn't want to give her false hope that everything will be OK cause you never know. I just read that 1 in every 8 women will be diagnose with breast cancer in their life. What kind of odds are those? That makes no sense. What is causing so many women come down with this disease. Did you know that 14000 women were diagnose with breast cancer in Australia in 2010? That's just Australia. This is a crazy life long battle. First it was the surgery and now preventive measures to keep it from coming back. I have to rethink everything now. How I eat, how I take care of my body. This whole thing is just mind-blowing when you try to take it all in at one time. I feel for my girlfriend. I am praying she doesn't have to join this club. The people in it are great but we are not here because we want to be in this club.
I know early detection is very important and I know that it is why my time has been as "easy" as it has. If I didn't catch it as early as I did probably at this time It would have spread to my lymph nodes and on its why thru out my body. Nobody could have paid me enough a year ago for me to believe I would have breast cancer now. To this day it's still hard to believe.
I know early detection is very important and I know that it is why my time has been as "easy" as it has. If I didn't catch it as early as I did probably at this time It would have spread to my lymph nodes and on its why thru out my body. Nobody could have paid me enough a year ago for me to believe I would have breast cancer now. To this day it's still hard to believe.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
PATHOLOGY REPORT
The Dr. called me last night with the pathology report. I had 2 tumors, the 1st was a stage 0 DCIS tumor. Pretty much meaning it was 1cm or smaller in found in my milk ducts. The 2nd was a stage 1(the mammogram found this one) invasive tumor, this one was a little over 2cm in size. Both are fed by estrogen. So with all that said there is another test I have to have done. Its called OncotypeDX. Because my cancer was found so early and it did not spread to lymph nodes and its estrogen fed, I qualify for the test. This test determines the probability of the cancer coming back.. There is a score from 0 to 100 the lower the score, the less chance of recurrence. A score of 0 to 8 no need for chem. 9 -30 need to consider possibility of needing chemo, 31 and above I really need to consider chemo. So I have to wait another 2 weeks for those results. God is truly teaching me patience...lol So I won't know how I am going to be treated for another 2 weeks. I guess that's good with everything not hitting me all at once. I just kinda feel its just dragging out longer. Oh well like I have said before this is God's plan and I can't rush Him, so I will just sit back and enjoy the ride because God is in control and He keeps telling me "I GOT YOU"
Saturday, January 28, 2012
The Beginning
At the age of 41, I found the first lump 2 weeks before my wedding. I was married on 11/11/2011. I just thought is was a clogged milk duct like I use to get when I was breastfeeding cause it hurt when touched. I was in no rush to get a mammogram but I promised my new husband that I would get one. I already had a gyn appointment scheduled for when after we got back from our honeymoon. My Dr. thought the same thing it was just a cyst or something but I still needed to get a mammogram.
The week before Christmas I went for the mammogram. I had been praying and talking with God and He kept telling me I will be ok. I was still a little nervous since this was my first mammo. it was a weird experience having my boob smooshed like that..lol I also had to have an ultrasound done just to get a better look at the lump I found. Well that trip didn't end up like I thought. I knew something was up because the tech took an awful lot of pics for something simple. I knew something was wrong. She left and a Dr. came in and told me that they found another lump and they have to do a biopsy. At that time God told me it was cancer. I didn't want to believe it. They wanted to schedule the biopsy the Friday before Christmas but I didn't want to deal with that news for the holiday. When I left the office all I wanted was to be in the presence of my husband. So I drove right to his office. His boss is wonderful and gave him the rest of the day off just to be with me.
My biopsy was scheduled for Jan 3rd 2012 . Of course my wonderful husband came with me. The procedure it self is not painful afterwards the Dr. told me to come back in 6 months. I was surprised because of what God had told me but I was willing to accept that. I was told I would get an email with the results of the biopsy. I never got that email. Jan. 4th 2012 my life changed. Matt was at a late meeting at work when I got the phone call. The Dr. said he was shocked but the tumors were cancer. He explained to me that they behaved as though they were cyst. I understood because now it went along with God had said. I have breast cancer. He did say it was a very low grade and very treatable and curable. My first thought was "how am I going to tell my husband" "How am I going to tell my kids". Well my first call was to my mommy...lol She was the first person I thought to call, then my dad,then my daughter and then my brother Billy. Who was able to make me laugh which was what I needed. My 13 year old son overheard me telling my father, so I had to sit him down and explain that I'm not going to die and everything will be ok. Telling my husband was hard but he has been my rock. So This is the beginning of my Journey to be a survivor.
The week before Christmas I went for the mammogram. I had been praying and talking with God and He kept telling me I will be ok. I was still a little nervous since this was my first mammo. it was a weird experience having my boob smooshed like that..lol I also had to have an ultrasound done just to get a better look at the lump I found. Well that trip didn't end up like I thought. I knew something was up because the tech took an awful lot of pics for something simple. I knew something was wrong. She left and a Dr. came in and told me that they found another lump and they have to do a biopsy. At that time God told me it was cancer. I didn't want to believe it. They wanted to schedule the biopsy the Friday before Christmas but I didn't want to deal with that news for the holiday. When I left the office all I wanted was to be in the presence of my husband. So I drove right to his office. His boss is wonderful and gave him the rest of the day off just to be with me.
My biopsy was scheduled for Jan 3rd 2012 . Of course my wonderful husband came with me. The procedure it self is not painful afterwards the Dr. told me to come back in 6 months. I was surprised because of what God had told me but I was willing to accept that. I was told I would get an email with the results of the biopsy. I never got that email. Jan. 4th 2012 my life changed. Matt was at a late meeting at work when I got the phone call. The Dr. said he was shocked but the tumors were cancer. He explained to me that they behaved as though they were cyst. I understood because now it went along with God had said. I have breast cancer. He did say it was a very low grade and very treatable and curable. My first thought was "how am I going to tell my husband" "How am I going to tell my kids". Well my first call was to my mommy...lol She was the first person I thought to call, then my dad,then my daughter and then my brother Billy. Who was able to make me laugh which was what I needed. My 13 year old son overheard me telling my father, so I had to sit him down and explain that I'm not going to die and everything will be ok. Telling my husband was hard but he has been my rock. So This is the beginning of my Journey to be a survivor.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)