I'm Ready

Yesterday I turned 45,  It has been a challenging last couple of years  BUT GOD... I made it.  This is the first birthday in 4 years I didn't have to or have had any surgery.  I spent a quiet day except for part of it with my family.  Breakfast with my mom, lunch with my dad and daughter, early evening at Chuck E Cheese with all 3 of my kids and the evening with hubby.  And I loved every bit of it,  even Chuck E Cheese. Just watching how my 3 kids interact with each other made me so happy.  I know I have done my job right. Yesterday I got to be a child, mom and wife at separate times and I think I really needed that.  The love you get from each one is special and different and very much needed.  I feel like I was refueled yesterday.  Ready to take on this next stage in my life.  It's funny, for the first time in a long time I feel like Super Woman, I'm ready.. When I was younger I use to say... I am the Almighty Powerful Mommy, Friend and Wife,  I haven't felt that way in a very very long time .I am stronger physically, mentally and most  important spiritually.  God.. I'm Ready!!!!

Birthday Weekend WHEW!!!!

This is my husband and youngest son's birthday weekend.  Matt's birthday was Friday and Dylan turns 3 on Monday.  I was being superwoman the past couple days.  I am really feeling it today.  I had a great time hanging out with hubby for his birthday on Friday...did some shopping, went for his free birthday breakfast and just had a very restful day.  Saturday we had a Birthday Bash Cookout.  It was a lot of fun.  I did a little too much.  I had to soak in some Epsom salt last night.  I think this is more my fibro and my head acting up.  My head didn't hurt just felt weird.  It is kinda hard to explain. My memory was pretty bad by the evening and everything hurts especially my feet and hips.  Walking is no fun.  And being tired... I don't think there is a word for how tired I felt yesterday.  But it was all worth it to see my guys smile and having fun.  We had a great turn out and the  kids got to hang in the pool. The crabs were real good but hubby's strawberry shortcake birthday cake was the BEST.  lol  I totally blew my weight loss plan this weekend.  I will start up again Tuesday because Monday we got to celebrate my little Dilly's (Dylan) 3rd birthday.  Even tho he really don't know what is going on we still got to do something for him.  Our plan is to take him to the zoo for the day.  He loves animals.  If it rains we will go to the aquarium.  Maybe even to Port Discovery.  I love seeing him so happy.  So I'm gonna rest up today, finish off those crabs.  Pain meds and I are going to be good friends today. So tomorrow the Birthday Bash Celebrating continues!!

Week 6 & 7 Recovery

 Well I had a little bit of an issue early in 6th week... but it was the nerves waking up and it was painful.  It let me dizzy and just felt bad.  It only lasted a couple of days.  But the pain shows up off and on and throws me off. I'm getting out and walking more.  I just can't walk as fast as I use to ....dizziness kicks in so slow going for me.  I had a great time for my birthday(March 28).  Had breakfast with my mom and then a long nap(3 hours) then dinner with hubby at a hibachi restaurant.  It was fun.  I was concerned if the noise from the chef would bother me and it didn't.  The lights were low and it wasn't real noisy.  I loved it.  Then my daughter came in town to pamper me.  So her and her best friend Symone took me to the MAC store to get my makeup done.  I felt nice to brighten up my look. It felt to nice to feel pretty. I enjoyed being in the mall.  I has been a long time since I have been able to walk around a mall.  We got there early to make it easier on me. By the time we left it was pretty busy and things were bothering me. Between the lights and the people and just mall noise it was getting to be a bit much and I started to get pains in my head.  Then we went to get our nails done.  That was nice and relaxing. It has been over a year since I had my nails done so I enjoyed the pampering.  Then we went to a nice Mexican restaurant that reminded Nay of Texas. I needed a very long nap after that day. 

Now week 7.  I went to church (where my husband is the pastor) Sunday.  Loved it.  I miss my Faith Church Baltimore family and fellowship.  I was tired but it was a good tired.  The noise bother me some.  My head feels like it is tightening along the incision and I still get shocks of sharp pains  at time.  I drove this week.  I had to take Dylan to the DR. for a checkup.  I did good driving.  Now having a toddler all day by myself is another story. I get tired very easy.  I don't have the energy to care for a 2 year old all day.  I thank God for Aunt Ann.  She has been a true blessing watching him during the day while I heal.  When I rest up during the day I have the energy to care for him when he comes home in the evening. 

Now I am experiencing a sweet taste in my mouth all the time.  I go to see the dr. next week.  I'm not getting headaches as much.  Just the sharp pains that come and go.  I can actually say I am feeling good. I feel my life is better since Mindy the Meningioma was removed.  I am getting stronger and stronger every day.  God gets all the Glory.  I trusted Him.  I trusted He would care for me and He did. I am proof that God will keep his promises. But that will be another whole post...lol.   I'm not 100% yet I would say 70%.  There are still some things I can't do but I am healing and happy.  I'm gonna try water aerobics this weekend to see if I can handle it. I am walking more than I was able to before the surgery.  I am taking one day at a time. But I am having more good days than bad.

So very Thankful. 

Week 5 Recovery

This week was spent getting use to having no hair.  Everybody that has seen me in person sees why I had to cut it all off so it can grow back evenly.  It is growing very fast so I'm happy with that.  I have been feeling good.  I tried to drive.  I didn't go far but driving was a bit too much for me.  My brain couldn't handle the cars moving around me.  So I won't drive for another couple weeks.  I notice on days that I move around alot I seem to suffer in the evening with head pain. Gotta slow down.  It was so pretty out this weekend. I took my youngest to the playground across the street.  He is a very good listener for a 2 yr old.  Thankfully there was another young woman there with her nephews close to Dylan's age, so they ran him around to help wear him out.  I got tired just watching.  After about  45min I needed to go back in.  I had to bribe him with pizza to get him to leave willingly....lol  I was done for the day and it was only 4pm.  I get very tired after doing simple things like folding clothes or just walking in the store.  Grocery stores are still a bit much.  I went to out to eat Sunday with my family when they came home from church.  We  went to a buffet style place.  Whewwww.  that was an experience.  Way to much going on around me and a little too much noise.  I did enjoy being out but having to walk around to get my food wore me out and was dizzying.  I did so enjoy the time with my family.  Even my Nay was with us.  It felt great having all my kids together.

Recovering from brain surgery is going to take more patience from me.  I see it is going to take a bit longer to get back to "normal" for me. Even if my body can do it the question becomes  can my brain handle it?  So far these days the answer has been NO!.  I want to go to church this week.  I miss church, my church family and just plain old fellowship.  So as long as I am feeling well I will be going.

 Oh guess what MY BIRTHDAY is FRIDAY.  I made it to 44. I have survived and came out stronger. And for the first time I know what I want for my birthday.  I'm going to a restaurant I want( no buffet).  I don't know what else is planned.  My husband is known for surprising me.  My daughter is coming down Sat for a girls day.  I'm excited.  God is soo Good!!

My Birthday

March 28,  I have turned 42 today.  The last year has been a whirlwind for me. I have had 2 surgeries (gall bladder removed & breast cancer) I got married to the most loving man made for me. I feel as tho my relationship with my son and daughter has grown deeper and stronger.  My family is growing in leaps and bounds. We got a cat named Jacob and soon my lil baby boy Dylan.  He will be with me on Good Friday.

I can't imagine this year past year without my husband. I love him more than word can express. He has given me strength to fight. He is my King, my partner. I had asked God for a man that goes to church.  God laughed at me and gave a Bishop...lol.  Being a pastor's wife is the last thing in the world I ever thought I will be.  I am learning and I am enjoying this road that God has put me on.

I am thankful I am on this earth for another year. As I look back, I notice my obedience has made the last year easier.  I didn't make a move unless God told me to.  Every decision God was consulted. Everything I have been thru has been a learning experience. My faith and trust in the Lord has gotten me this far and I plan on holding His hand for rest of the journey.  I'm starting to believe that sometimes he let go of my hand to allow me to feel the human side so I understand how it feels, so when the time comes I can really help some else in the same situation. But knowing no matter what, all I have to do is reach out and He will be there to take my hand again. 

God has a big plan he is preparing me for. This molding process has been tough and i know he is not finished.
I'm excited about this year.  So I'm holding on tight to God cause this is going to be one very interesting journey.

Driving

I drove today.  I haven't driven a car since about a week before my surgery.  It felt kinda weird and liberating at the same time.  I am sore now.  I still have  to take it kinda easy.  I still can't reach but so far with my right side. Plus I have pain all along my right side of my back. I got my first fill Thursday.  My chest feels tight.  I still have to compress that side for 1 more week.  The Dr. told me it hasn't been 6 weeks yet.  I was like "What?"  It feels like it.  Sleep is uncomfortable again... I guess it's back to my comfy recliner.

 I want to throw a big party next year for my birthday next year.  43 will be awesome because I know in 1 year I will be back to normal in every way.  All my surgeries for reconstruction will be done.I will be feeling strong again.This birthday I will be happy I made it.  Next year I will be happy I survived.

Well back to the driving part.... The Dr. told me it hurts because I haven't used that muscle much. So I can drive short distances.  So I guess I won't be back to work yet since my job requires me to drive around the city.  Plus driving today I think made my chest hurt.  I kept wanting to drive with my right hand. I was in pain every time I did!  I had to act like I had a stick shift to keep from putting my right hand on the wheel.  But I still did it.  I was able to drive my car from the old apartment to our new home. I unpacked part of my kitchen then I needed a nap.  Matt and Jay took care of the living room and the dining room. I slowly did the bathroom and I will work on our bedroom and finish the kitchen this week.  I won't be driving unless I have to. But it still felt good to drive again.