I went to
see my surgeon yesterday to get the results of my Oncotype DX test.(to
see if I need chemo) plus get a better understanding of my pathology
report. Well the pathology report was good. my margins were clear and
nodes negative. I originally had 2 tumors they found a 3rd. and the
Dcis was 4.1 cm and no metastases, so the mastectomy was the best thing for me. so I had
Stage 1A cancer. He said this was the best type to have. Now normally that would be treated with just tamoxifen
for 5 years BUT..... My Oncotype DX test was a 23 which put me in the
middle of the middle of the chart for benefiting from chemo. The test
tells me I have a 15% chance of the cancer coming back in 10 years or
85% of it never coming back. My surgeon is consulting with a team of 3
Oncologist today and will tell me what
was said later this evening and then I will consult with them. This
really suck because it falls in my hands on what to do. I didn't know
where else to turn. Of course my husband doesn't want me to go thru
chemo neither do I but it's one thing to not want it but need it (like
the surgery)and another to not want it and maybe you will or maybe you
wont benefit from it. How do you make such a decision for your life.
This is so unfair Cancer sucks. I'm not looking for someone to make
this decision for me.
God told me this morning that my fight is just beginning. I know that I have way too much to live for. I feel like I should flip a coin because this whole this is really up to chance. God tells me things change. It has just really hit me that this is a fight I will be fighting for the rest of my life. My husband and children need me. My daughter and I are planning a trip to Paris next year to celebrate me beating this mess. I'm Mad now. I know some women are having a harder time then I am and I know my cancer is easier to deal with but this whole cancer this is just wrong. I still don't know what me decision will be i still need to meet with the Oncologist after my surgeon does. I'm praying God will have an answer for me by then. I guess I'm still waiting( the patience test..lol)
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