It has been awhile since I last posted. I got clearance from my plastic surgeon to shop for regular bras...YAYYYYY. I will get my nipple reconstruction in Nov. The side effects from the tamoxifen has calmed down a bit. Except my fibroids getting so large I look pregnant. I see the GYN this week to discuss what to do to fix it. Other than that I am happy. I look normal and I feel almost normal.
I ran into 2 people who haven't seen me since last year. One of the ladies didn't even know I had cancer. she said looking at me she would never have known. That made me feel sooooo good . I smiled so hard. I realized I have been blessed to not have to struggle as bad as some women have. I am actually having a pretty easy time of this. I thank you Lord.... Oh how I thank you. The the next day I saw my old boss from Jackson Hewitt. The last time she saw me was 2 weeks before my mastectomy. She is the one who sent me the yummy fruit basket. Well she said I looked awesome.. Again I was smiling hard and feeling very blessed.
I don't think most people understand that when something has changed on your body that wasn't really by choice, how abnormal you feel. Yea I stuffed my bra until the reconstruction and after the one breast was so swollen I wore very very loose tops so you couldn't see the unevenness. Inside I didn't feel normal. I wondered if I will ever feel that way again. I didn't want people to look at me with that look of pity in there eyes. I just wanted them to see Candy, the wife , the mom, the friend. I'm getting my wish now, and it feels very good. Yea my stomach looks like I'm several months pregnant, I feel good and from what people tell me I look good..lol lol.
I am a 6 month breast cancer survivor!!!!!!! Every day and every month and every year is important. I want people to look at me and say "this is what surviving breast cancer looks like" I am happy, somewhat happy with my body but this is a work in progress. I know once the anniversary of my cancer comes around, I WILL be happy with my body again.
