Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Feeling Some Kinda Way
This last week or so has been very trying on my patience. Dealings with certain people, having to move because the owner of the house we rent, claim she can't afford(more like don't want to) fix the plumbing in the home I have only been in for 1 month. My baby girl graduating from college and I am not able to do much for her because of being out of work and needing every penny we got to move again. Accepting my treatment plan that will change my body maybe permanently. It doesn't help that I am hormonal right now. Everything really hit me when I got off the phone with my oncologist and told her I choose tamoxifen for my treatment and will not be doing chemo. I am comfortable in my choice of no chemo. Not crazy about the tamoxifen and it's possible side effects. For awhile there I really didn't have to deal with the cancer but I need to start treatment like NOW so my Dr. call in a prescription for tamoxifen so I can start today. I was told to keep busy because it can cause blood clots. Yayyyyy that's what i wanted to hear. plus several other unpleasant side effects. But they keep saying that the benefit out weighs the side effects.. we will see. I go back to see the oncologist in a month to see how I'm doing. This whole thing just makes feel some kinda way. It's hard to explain exactly. Part of it is that I feel I have no control over this whole thing. The only thing I was able to choose was not to take chemo. I dunno, This whole cancer thing sucks. I have 5 years of this medication if my body can handle it. I'm really not looking forward to taking this stuff.