Friday, November 4, 2016

Hello Stranger

Hi old friend,  It has been awhile. My last post was in Feb of this year and I was celebrating being 4 years cancer free.  I have had a couple of scares but nothing like this new one.  I have been having pains in the lower left side of my abdomen for months and just really didn't think much of it until the pain started waking me up and being more constant.  I went to the ER and they did a CAT scan.... well they found a spot on my liver, I have a trace of fluid between my chest wall and lungs, and a small hernia and kidney stones in my left kidney.  Well I knew about the kidney stones and I was told because the initial hernia was so big it could open back up(its been 3 years since that surgery).  So I wasn't surprised about those 2.  But the spot and fluid was a surprise.

 God promised me the day I was told I have breast cancer that "cancer wasn't going to kill me"  I believe and trust God.  If this spot is cancer God has another journey for me to travel.  I truly believe there is a reason for everything. I know God has my best interest at heart. 

So my doctor want to deal with the spot and fluid first before the hernia and kidney stones.  The pain meds seem to work just takes me some time to get going the next day.  My fibromyalgia seems to be trying to flare up but I'm fighting that also.  So adjusting how I spend my energy is a must.  I think the extra fatigue is also from the other stuff going on with my body.  Oh well Gotta Keep Moving... I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old puppy to keep up with.

Now I just wait until I can have my MRI next WED.  UGGGGGG  Then I won't have the results until Friday.  Part of me wants to cry and fall apart, another part is ready to put on my Wonder Woman outfit and say "Let's Go!!"  Wonder Woman will probably win

I have been doing pretty well for the last 2 years. The only thing I really have been dealing with is  polypoidal choroidal vasculopathy.  But the Dr has been watching it for the past 6 months and things haven't changed so that's good.  My overall health has been good. It is hard to explain how I feel. I don't want to think about the worst but I don't want to fool myself.  Thats what I did when I found out the lump in my breast was cancer.  I kept telling myself it wasn't cancer hoping and praying it would go away, So part of me is numb, I don't want to feel anything right now. What gets to me the most is it was 5 years ago about this time I found the lump in my breast. SMH.. My hubby has been a great support.  I can't imagine going thu this without him. So my life is on hold until next Friday.