The Countdown Begins

Today I go for my pre-op exam.  The Dr. just makes sure I am healthy enough for surgery.  It's sad I have been thru this way too many times.  1 week before surgery.....UGGGGGG.  I am working on getting things at home ready also.  Getting laundry done and planning out meals for my guys  so things can be less stressful for Matt and Jay.  I have already shut down my ebay store temporarily and Matt said he will help with my Avon  business.  I am very thankful for my church family and friends who offered to help out with Dylan.  So I don't have to worry about him. I know Matt can handle things but I would like to make it as easier as possible for him.  I can't wait until this is all over and I can get on with my life.  The good thing about all of this I probably loose a couple of pounds :)  Yayyyyy. 

Part II
Well I just got home from the Dr.  everything looks good. Blood pressure good (good thing I have been taking my meds)  EKG good ( whewww.. I really didn't want to go to the cardiologist any time soon) They a lot of blood. And I had to go for chest xray.   My nerves are  starting to get to me a bit.  It is still kinda hard to believe this happening.  I realized something today.  I really don't like talking about this out loud.I had to explain to 5 different people why I was there.....  The only thing the Dr didn't like was my weight but he said considering what I have been thru the past couple years it is very understandable and we will work on it after this surgery.  This is still hard to believe.

Acoustic Neuroma or Meningioma?

I plan recording my journey with this tumor and better health.  2 week ago I saw the ENT at John Hopkins  Dr. Limb, He said he doesn't believe I have an acoustic neuroma.  He believes it's a meningioma.  The difference is one is on the nerve to my ear  and the other is on the lining of my brain.  He said it looked like it was on the lining and spreads out to the nerve.  They won't know for sure until they get in my head.

Jan 14th is surgery day.  The nurse called me the other day with the schedules for tests
 and surgery time. I became nervous for the first time.  i still have a hard time believing this really happening. Breast cancer was a shock.  A brain tumor seems so unbelievable.  But I guess it's real because I am starting to have other symptoms.  The most frustrating one if the tingling and numbness and weakness in my right hand and arm.  Just imagine your arm and hands falling asleep all the time.  I also learned some of my confusion and forgetfulness  is from the tumor. So with that all said I am ready for this thing to get out of my head and get back to normal.

The closer it get to the surgery date and after I will probably doing video blogs showing my recovery.  I really hope what I am going thru helps another person get thru this.  God is my rock and I couldn't have done this without Him.  I know whatever reason I have to deal with this something good is going to come out of it.  God only have my best interest at heart.

Freedom

I had plan on no longer using a relaxer in my hair and was trying to decide what to do with my hair.  Since I am due to have surgery to remove a brain tumor next month I was thinking about cutting my hair  or  getting braids or something. Well I woke up Sunday morning tired of dealing with the different textures on my head and I asked my husband to cut my hair.  I wasn't sure if he was willing to do it but he did it with joy...lol.  

When I sat in the chair, I almost changed my mind but I didn't and I am very happy I didn't.  This is a very freeing change for me. It was also a symbol of me getting rid of the old.  The last couple of years have been tough.  I ready for something fresh and new. Once this tumor is removed I will be on my way to a new me. 

So Dec. 15,2013  BIG CHOP DAY.  I am excited to see my natural hair grow. Right now it is very curly and soft .. I really like it.  No regrets.

Book Two Of My Journey

God definitely have a plan for me.  3 months ago I found out I have a brain tumor.  It wasn't cancer so that was good, it was slow growing and that was good. The plan was to watch it and it I start having problems then it would be treated.  Well 3 months later the tumor has grown and is causing me problems.  It is call Acoustic Neuroma,  It sits on the nerves of my right ear causing hearing loss in that ear.  I was sent to a specialize specialist at John Hopkins.  I need surgery.  Isn't that crazy.... BRAIN SURGERY.  God must have a really big plans for me.

Can I be honest.  I am so tired of Doctors, Hospitals,SURGERIES, pain pills.....all I can really do is laugh.  This won't kill me, just get in the way of my life...lol   I know at some point God will let me know what His plan is for me.  Part of me want to sit in the corner and cry and the other part say "suck it up, put your big girl panties on and let's get tru this."  So I have been in deep prayer and meditating and visualizing the tumor shrinking.  Maybe God will give me a Christmas miracle. I know God has my best interest at heart and will be with me through this whole thing.

So back to the tumor.  I am loosing my hearing in my right ear.  I will be having surgery after the holidays (which is what I wanted)  So I'm gonna be taking lots of pics  :)  There is a chance of 10% chance of facial paralyzation.  I am not crazy about that at all.  I have a very nice smile  :)  seeee.....lol    There is s very good chance I will lose total hearing in my right ear. The good part is that I will be fine after the surgery.  They got a world renown doctor that will help with getting hearing back in my right ear.  The surgery will last 8 to 10 hours....uggg and I will be in the hospital for about a week. Recovery will be 6 to 8 week.  So I will be all good by my birthday  YAYYYY. The great thing is that John Hopkins have a whole Acoustic Neuroma department so I know I will have a lot of great support.

What is keep me together.... MY FAITH. I'm holding onto God with everything I have.  I am really too tired to fight this battle, I have handed it over to God. Whatever road he have me travel I will travel.