Thursday, February 27, 2014

Feeling a little bold!

Day # 9 out from surgery today.  Feeling awesome.  I get my stitches out today... YAYYY  I have been resting and taking it very easy. Yesterday I did take some steps without the walker.  Not bad just have to move slow.  Well This morning after meditating and feeling like a million bucks, I figured lets try walking without the walker little  more.  I just set it up in the kitchen so if I need it I could get to it.  Well...... I can walk... slow....but I find myself leaning to the right....lol..  My tumor was right behind my right ear.  That side of my head is still numb and feels uncomfortable and I guess my equilibrium is off... It is weird feeling when you head starts to fall to the side and then u realize that is not what it should do..lol  I know I look funny. I probably look like a zombie walking around...lol.. Oh well I tried... I know it is still early but it was funny to me. Today is the last day for steroids..YESSSS...  I'm getting more sleep, maybe that's why I feel stronger.  (4-5 hours is more sleep)  I haven't started crafting yet.  I did start crocheting a hat in the hospital, I plan on finishing it this weekend. I want to start sewing again.. I just have to be careful not to overstimulate my brain because it gets tired just watching tv.  Back to resting.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

FOOD

YESSSSS Food !!!! Now yes I gave gained about 50 lbs since diagnoses with breast cancer. 2 years ago.  My doctors are not that concerned between 6 surgeries and different meds it's not bad and my blood pressure hase been under control (when I take my meds)  When I do feel well I do exercise.  I LOVE the pool.  Now  back to food.  I CAN TASTE IT.   I am so happy the  steroids are starting to wear off.  I love to eat.  I enjoy eating.  I love flavor.  I miss it.  last night I had Bourbon Salmon OMG  soooo good and I had a peanut butter cup yummmmmy.  It was such a disappointment when my daughter went to get me some Chick Fil A and the lemonade didn't taste right.  I love their lemonade and I could barely taste the nuggets another fav of mine.  Then I wanted a ball park beef hotdog...ugggg it tasted like mush.  I guess it is a great was to loose weight because I had lost all interest in eating.. it was no fun....no party in my mouth.  :(   Flavor is coming back.  If I could I would be dancing to the Happy song...lol 

Now besides food... I am doing well.  I was able to go all day with no pain meds. Now I do have a lot a pressure on the right side and towards the back of my head. It is very uncomfortable. I have to watch how I position my head to keep a lot of pressure from building up.  I am able to get up and around and it feels good to be moving about.  I am resting so don't fuss at me. I still need a walker but getting stronger everyday. Now the next thing I want to do is wash my hair.... I so happy I went natural when I did but this mess needs a good washing.  I will be able  to after Thursday when the stitches come out.  I can look girly again.  I plan on sporting a cute mohawk for a bit until my hair grows out more.  I'm recovering  YAYYYYY  Lord you are Awesome!!


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

1 Week since Crani.

Ok today marks one week since my brain surgery,  I am doing well.  I had my first trip almost fall with the walker the last night,  I was a little to tired and weak trying to make it from the bathroom.  It is amazing how much your brain takes in when you think your doing nothing.  I notice I feel awesome in the morning but as the day goes on the busier it gets around me the more tired I get and the slower my brain starts to work,  I have to think a little harder I notice I get jittery like my brain is on overload.  It was a bit unnerving to have that trip up cause I haven't felt that uneasy on my feet since day 2 of the surgery.  As I sit here I am listening to some yoga zen music app I found on my kindle.  I realize I need to take some time everyday just to calm my brain down from the everyday stimulus that is around me.  The music has helped a lot.  My hands stop shaking and my heart has calmed down. I'm really going to get into this meditating more now.  I plan on doing whatever I can to help my brain heal best.

Thank God for the Facebook support Groups Meningioma Mommas, mind over meningioma
MeningiomaTalk, meningiomasupportforus
GreyMatter
They have helped me so much. Like I didn't know the steroids that I take would change how food taste but I will get it back after the meds wore off.  I was pretty mad when I had my ball park beef hotdog and it taste like mush.  I can't taste anything savory. and some sweet stuff just doesn't taste right.  So I really don't eat unless my body is asking for food cause I find no pleasure in eating.
 I also learned to sleep sitting up cause to much pressure on my brain laying down and trying to get up.  actually I have been quite comfortable.  I do miss sleeping next to my hubby.  I won't start outpatient therapy  for another week. I have a follow up on Thursday.  I get the pathology report on my tumor.  Right now...... my life have really slowed down.  I guess I will take time to smell the roses

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Thank You God!!!

 Well I made it thru surgery fantastic.!!!!  I was told that the nerves were wrapped around the tumor quite a bit that's why they had to have more monitoring during my surgery cause it was going to be more complicated.  God ...God was there.  My surgery was only 6 hours long instead of 9 and the doctors said the nerves just bent out the way so he could remove the tumor.  NO NO nerves were cut,  Even a very sensitive nerve that controls my swallowing was just fine.  I'm not using much pain meds.  I normally have problems with my IV cause I can only use the one arm from breast cancer surgery NO problems there.  I had brain surgery on Tuesday and I am home doing well on Sat.  God did this.  I stayed faithful. I never doubted Him.  Even when my symptoms were getting worst I knew God would take care of me.  So many prayers went up that morning and I am so very thankful and grateful for His love.
 I was able to walk a flight a stairs yesterday very well.  I just have to use a few tricks to help my brain heal and regain more independence.  I will be going to outpatient therapy to help me get stronger. I wish I could go to church today but just a walk to the bathroom is enough excitement for me these days..lol    But God knows my praise!!  I will be back soon Faith Church Baltimore


PS.  I am asking for help with meals for my family since I am the family chef...lol A website has been set up to help schedule meals if you would like to help.  I normally don't ask for help but I realize the brain is very sensitive and I will take a little more time getting back to my normal routine. Because of my husband's job and pastoring a church and taking care of home I know the meals would be one less worry for him. So if you would like to bless us with a meal please inbox me for the website and password to set a date.  Thank you for your help.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

THANK YOU

Thank you for all the prayers.   My surgery went excellent.   It was 3 hours shorter than expected and the dr saved my hearing and facial nerves. Im being moved to my room today and I am able sit in a chair.  I got a fat lip from surgery and my face is swollen.

I just so very thankful for your prayers.   God really showed up.  Thanks again.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Surgery Day

Well Mindy the Meningioma will have to be forced out!!.  Surgery is at 7:30am but I have to be at the hospital at 5:15am  Of course I can't sleep, which is fine because I will get plenty during the 9 hour surgery..uggggg  that is long.  Yesterday I had all my pre op test done and another MRI.  They put markers on my head that I had to keep on.  People were looking at me funny when I went to the store with these disks on my head. They go from behind 1 ear all the way around to the other ear. Looking forward to all this being over.  You know the crazy part.  I have not cried about this,  God has place me in such a peaceful state.  I just know I will be ok.  Just like with the breast cancer, it won't be easy but I will be just fine.  I trust God. I believe that I am to touch someone's life that I otherwise wouldn't have if I didn't go thru this.  I have already met some very nice people today who were surprised I was able to laugh and still be happy. Why not be happy?  I rather be happy than sad, I rather laugh than cry. Like I said before I trust God is doing what is in my best interest.  I did ask him to use me as He sees fit. And He is doing that...lol   The next time you will hear from me will be after the eviction takes place..... Love you all and take care

Sunday, February 16, 2014

The Eviction Papers Have Been Served!

Ok Mindy the Meningioma have been served her eviction papers.  With God's help she can leave on her own or with the surgeons help be forced out.  She needs to leave my head.  She is causing more and more problems the longer she stays. It's bad enough I have lost some hearing in my right ear and have that constant ringing going on. I can't walk at a normal pace without getting dizzy. It is difficult to stay focused on anything for any period of time.  I went to a wedding yesterday and we were home by 3 and I was in the bed the rest of the day. I wake up at 5am to a splitting headache. I can't take anything but tylenol (which doesn't do a thing for me) so I suffer because of Mindy GRRRRRRRRRR.  SHE GOT TO GO!  So I find out tomorrow which way she decides to go.  I have to have another MRI before the surgery. I would like for her to take God's assistance and just disappear. Mindy has been a true pain. If the surgeon has to be the one to remove her, I plan on continuing my blog at the hospital. My daughter and husband will probably have Facebook post about my recovery from surgery. I still believe God will do whatever is in my best interest. Maybe a great blessing will come about with me having surgery.  Who knows God's plan.  I guess I will find out tomorrow.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

YAYYYYYYYY for TODAY!!! 2 YEARS

YAYYYYYYYYY...Today is my 2 year Cancer Free Anniversary!!!!.  2 years ago today cancer was removed from my body.  I am so very thankful to still be alive.  Yes the last couple of years have been tough but I am cancer free. I really didn't realize how mentally tough I am. But God knew.  He knew I could handle this battle and win.  Through the last 2 years I have been able to inspire women with cancer to have faith in God to help them thru this crazy journey.  I cry tears of happiness  that I made it this far.  2 years cancer free. You always fear the cancer will come back especially since I did keep one breast but God has been showering me with FAVOR.  I pray I will continue to receive His cancer free blessings for many many more years.  I plan on being around for my baby Dylan's children.  I am also thankful for the blessing of my loving husband.  He has loved me so much thru this and continues to shower me with more and more love.  That is the best medicine a woman  can get. When I start to fall he is right there to pick me up and dust me off and push me to keep going.  And I am thankful for my parents. They have been the best, being there to care for me, take me to appointments or just love on me when I needed them.  And can't forget my kids.  They keep a smile on my face.  My daughter makes me so proud of the woman she has become, she calls me almost everyday sometime several times a day. My middle son takes great care of me. Even tho he is becoming a young man he stills hugs and kisses me every morning and every night, and my baby boy won't let me be sad. He is always doing something to make me laugh and his little hugs and kisses and songs always make me feel better.  Yes I am a 2 YEAR SURVIVOR !

Monday, February 10, 2014

1 Week

1 week.....1 week.  I am scheduled to have a craniotomy in 1 week It is still so hard to believe.  I am experiencing such a range of emotions it is crazy. I still haven't been able to cry.  I get sad then I get mad because I don't want to be sad. I become irritable trying to remember everything that needs to be done, the I get mad again because I have to go thru this, then I starting thinking about people who are worst off and I start to feel grateful.  Most of the time I'm numb cause I don't know what to feel because it doesn't seem real.  I pray every day for healing but God might decide the surgery is the way I will be healed.  I just don't want my head cut open. The Dr. said I will be back to normal after surgery.  Now my question is "What exactly is normal?"..lol  I'm not the most "normal" person around..lol   I'm hoping that when the tumor is gone It will unleash an enormous wave of creativity.  Yeahh I like that.  I am trying to stay positive about this whole thing because to me  this is sooooo crazy.  I have been a little stressed with trying to prepare my family and home for this surgery.  So things will run as easy as possible for them while I'm gone and when I first come home.  This whole thing is so surreal.  God must have some extra special blessings for me because what I have been thru in the past 2 years is a bit much...lol   5 surgeries in 2 years and this one makes #6.  Goodness I look forward to turning 50.  God should be finished refurbishing me by then...lol 
 


Thursday, February 6, 2014

Support

The other day I was on the phone with my daughter Nay as usual and I was telling her I wish I could talk to someone who has gone thru this so I would know what to expect after surgery.  She found a great group called Meningioma Mommas.  They have a Facebook page and a website with a discussion board.  They have been very helpful.  It is very nice to chat with people who are going thru or has gone thru the same thing.  The people have been very supportive. I am so happy Nay found them for me. I have learned more about my recovery and what to expect.  Still praying and meditating that the tumor will shrink and surgery won't be needed.  It is still hard to believe.  Oh well I have faith God will do what is best.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

I CHOOSE HAPPY


2 weeks from today I will be having brain surgery.  It is still weird to say and hard to believe.  I find moments where I want to cry like a little baby but for some reason I can't.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I think it is more out of frustration. But I still haven't cried. There was a period before the last surgery date where I start to feel myself falling into a depressed state. I feel like I'm fighting my body.  My fibromyalgia is acting up bad right now.   I didn't want to be there so I prayed and asked God for help.  That is when I found my happy song.  I was flipping thru channels on TV and Pharrell William's video for Happy was on and it made me smile and the extra plus is it's from one of my favorite movies Despicable Me 2.  Well I loved both movies.  When I hear the song I automatically smile and I'm HAPPY.  I also have Minion ringtones.  I love it when my phone goes off while I'm in public.  It always puts a smile on somebody's face and makes them laugh.  You never know that might be the only laugh they will have that day.  I love making people happy.  Well back to my Happy Song,  My husband and daughter have been told I want to hear this song right before surgery and when the see me in recovery.  I choose to be happy.  Everybody should have a happy song.