God definitely have a plan for me. 3 months ago I found out I have a brain tumor. It wasn't cancer so that was good, it was slow growing and that was good. The plan was to watch it and it I start having problems then it would be treated. Well 3 months later the tumor has grown and is causing me problems. It is call Acoustic Neuroma, It sits on the nerves of my right ear causing hearing loss in that ear. I was sent to a specialize specialist at John Hopkins. I need surgery. Isn't that crazy.... BRAIN SURGERY. God must have a really big plans for me.
Can I be honest. I am so tired of Doctors, Hospitals,SURGERIES, pain pills.....all I can really do is laugh. This won't kill me, just get in the way of my life...lol I know at some point God will let me know what His plan is for me. Part of me want to sit in the corner and cry and the other part say "suck it up, put your big girl panties on and let's get tru this." So I have been in deep prayer and meditating and visualizing the tumor shrinking. Maybe God will give me a Christmas miracle. I know God has my best interest at heart and will be with me through this whole thing.
So back to the tumor. I am loosing my hearing in my right ear. I will be having surgery after the holidays (which is what I wanted) So I'm gonna be taking lots of pics :) There is a chance of 10% chance of facial paralyzation. I am not crazy about that at all. I have a very nice smile :) seeee.....lol There is s very good chance I will lose total hearing in my right ear. The good part is that I will be fine after the surgery. They got a world renown doctor that will help with getting hearing back in my right ear. The surgery will last 8 to 10 hours....uggg and I will be in the hospital for about a week. Recovery will be 6 to 8 week. So I will be all good by my birthday YAYYYY. The great thing is that John Hopkins have a whole Acoustic Neuroma department so I know I will have a lot of great support.
What is keep me together.... MY FAITH. I'm holding onto God with everything I have. I am really too tired to fight this battle, I have handed it over to God. Whatever road he have me travel I will travel.