Sunday, May 6, 2012

Bitter sweet weekend

This weekend has been a difficult one.  I have shed tears of happiness and sorrow.  My oldest child graduated from college yesterday and my husband's grandmother passed away on Friday.  My husband was extremely close to his grandmother. I didn't know her for long but I had grown to love her and how her family interacted with her was beautiful.

 Then you have my daughter great accomplishment. I drove passed her freshman dorm. I want to cry. I remember watching her walk away from the car, so excited to start her college career. I remember the calls of happiness, sadness, or just "I miss you mommy call"or the famous "I need money call".  I welcomed them all. I had met her sorority sisters and close friends that have been there for her. It was pretty cool to see the Dean of Students make a point to come over to tell her to keep her head up about a job opp in Indiana. She knows people there. She has such a bright future. I feel like I did my job, I had help make her into a productive citizen. I remember when she was born and bringing her home.  I remember looking at this little baby thinking, OMG I am responsible for making her an adult. Honestly it wasn't that hard.  There were some challenges, I just provided her with everything she needed physically, mentally and emotionally. And she turned out perfect in my eyes.  I was reading her scrapbook and the things her administrators wrote in it just showed me the world thinks she is wonderful too. I can proudly say I did a good job. I have done something right in my life.  ok enough about her... got me crying again thinking about everything.

Now my heart is breaking to see him in so much pain. I personally have not lost someone that close to me. I knew how much he loved his grandmother, so I knew this time would be difficult. I have come to love his family dearly and to see them hurting is heartbreaking. All I can do is just hug them and let them talk about her.  I will be there when he wants me close and give him space when he needs it. I had prayed and asked God how can I help him best.  He told me to love him thru this...that's all he need from me. So I guess that's what I will be doing. Grief is tough.

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