It is hard to believe that today I will have my reconstruction surgery. There have been moments where I actually forget that I had cancer. Then I am given a reminder either with the tamoxifen or my hard right "breast" The only thing I am not happy with is that I have to wait until 11 to go to the hospital. I couldn't eat or drink anything after 12 midnight. We still have packing to do, so I will be keeping myself busy packing until Matt takes me to the hospital.
We are also moving this week but I won't be moving anything after today. This house is falling apart. Ok we got the sewage back up in the basement and the wall leaking in the basement then the hole in my kitchen ceiling showing the bathtub pipes and now the ceiling in the leaking wall room fell in. this house is literally falling apart around us. I am so happy we are getting out of here this week.
It is weird, I am having very mixed feelings right now. I'm excited, nervous,scared and angry that I even had to go thru this. I never had any surgery except a c-section for my daughter 23 years ago. I turn 40 and I fall apart. 1st my gall bladder didn't want to stay a week after my birthday and then my breast didn't want to stay 2 weeks before my wedding. I thought I was doing pretty good health wise. I eat pretty healthy, I don't smoke, I might have a drink once or twice a year even then I don't drink much. It's crazy how cancer picks it victims. Well I'm pissed. I was very happy with my breast BC (before cancer). Well one good thing about this is that I can go without a bra :) So as soon as the bandages come off Summer dresses here I come...lol
I thank God for keeping my sanity. You go thru so many different feelings once you are told you have cancer, that you feel kinda crazy at time. My faith in God has kept me sane ( now I know others might question the sane part..lol). Thank You Lord for loving me and keeping me. I couldn't have done it without you. This journey isn't over yet.