Surgery Day

Well Mindy the Meningioma will have to be forced out!!.  Surgery is at 7:30am but I have to be at the hospital at 5:15am  Of course I can't sleep, which is fine because I will get plenty during the 9 hour surgery..uggggg  that is long.  Yesterday I had all my pre op test done and another MRI.  They put markers on my head that I had to keep on.  People were looking at me funny when I went to the store with these disks on my head. They go from behind 1 ear all the way around to the other ear. Looking forward to all this being over.  You know the crazy part.  I have not cried about this,  God has place me in such a peaceful state.  I just know I will be ok.  Just like with the breast cancer, it won't be easy but I will be just fine.  I trust God. I believe that I am to touch someone's life that I otherwise wouldn't have if I didn't go thru this.  I have already met some very nice people today who were surprised I was able to laugh and still be happy. Why not be happy?  I rather be happy than sad, I rather laugh than cry. Like I said before I trust God is doing what is in my best interest.  I did ask him to use me as He sees fit. And He is doing that...lol   The next time you will hear from me will be after the eviction takes place..... Love you all and take care

The Eviction Papers Have Been Served!

Ok Mindy the Meningioma have been served her eviction papers.  With God's help she can leave on her own or with the surgeons help be forced out.  She needs to leave my head.  She is causing more and more problems the longer she stays. It's bad enough I have lost some hearing in my right ear and have that constant ringing going on. I can't walk at a normal pace without getting dizzy. It is difficult to stay focused on anything for any period of time.  I went to a wedding yesterday and we were home by 3 and I was in the bed the rest of the day. I wake up at 5am to a splitting headache. I can't take anything but tylenol (which doesn't do a thing for me) so I suffer because of Mindy GRRRRRRRRRR.  SHE GOT TO GO!  So I find out tomorrow which way she decides to go.  I have to have another MRI before the surgery. I would like for her to take God's assistance and just disappear. Mindy has been a true pain. If the surgeon has to be the one to remove her, I plan on continuing my blog at the hospital. My daughter and husband will probably have Facebook post about my recovery from surgery. I still believe God will do whatever is in my best interest. Maybe a great blessing will come about with me having surgery.  Who knows God's plan.  I guess I will find out tomorrow.

YAYYYYYYYY for TODAY!!! 2 YEARS

YAYYYYYYYYY...Today is my 2 year Cancer Free Anniversary!!!!.  2 years ago today cancer was removed from my body.  I am so very thankful to still be alive.  Yes the last couple of years have been tough but I am cancer free. I really didn't realize how mentally tough I am. But God knew.  He knew I could handle this battle and win.  Through the last 2 years I have been able to inspire women with cancer to have faith in God to help them thru this crazy journey.  I cry tears of happiness  that I made it this far.  2 years cancer free. You always fear the cancer will come back especially since I did keep one breast but God has been showering me with FAVOR.  I pray I will continue to receive His cancer free blessings for many many more years.  I plan on being around for my baby Dylan's children.  I am also thankful for the blessing of my loving husband.  He has loved me so much thru this and continues to shower me with more and more love.  That is the best medicine a woman  can get. When I start to fall he is right there to pick me up and dust me off and push me to keep going.  And I am thankful for my parents. They have been the best, being there to care for me, take me to appointments or just love on me when I needed them.  And can't forget my kids.  They keep a smile on my face.  My daughter makes me so proud of the woman she has become, she calls me almost everyday sometime several times a day. My middle son takes great care of me. Even tho he is becoming a young man he stills hugs and kisses me every morning and every night, and my baby boy won't let me be sad. He is always doing something to make me laugh and his little hugs and kisses and songs always make me feel better.  Yes I am a 2 YEAR SURVIVOR !

1 Week

1 week.....1 week.  I am scheduled to have a craniotomy in 1 week It is still so hard to believe.  I am experiencing such a range of emotions it is crazy. I still haven't been able to cry.  I get sad then I get mad because I don't want to be sad. I become irritable trying to remember everything that needs to be done, the I get mad again because I have to go thru this, then I starting thinking about people who are worst off and I start to feel grateful.  Most of the time I'm numb cause I don't know what to feel because it doesn't seem real.  I pray every day for healing but God might decide the surgery is the way I will be healed.  I just don't want my head cut open. The Dr. said I will be back to normal after surgery.  Now my question is "What exactly is normal?"..lol  I'm not the most "normal" person around..lol   I'm hoping that when the tumor is gone It will unleash an enormous wave of creativity.  Yeahh I like that.  I am trying to stay positive about this whole thing because to me  this is sooooo crazy.  I have been a little stressed with trying to prepare my family and home for this surgery.  So things will run as easy as possible for them while I'm gone and when I first come home.  This whole thing is so surreal.  God must have some extra special blessings for me because what I have been thru in the past 2 years is a bit much...lol   5 surgeries in 2 years and this one makes #6.  Goodness I look forward to turning 50.  God should be finished refurbishing me by then...lol 
 

Support

The other day I was on the phone with my daughter Nay as usual and I was telling her I wish I could talk to someone who has gone thru this so I would know what to expect after surgery.  She found a great group called Meningioma Mommas.  They have a Facebook page and a website with a discussion board.  They have been very helpful.  It is very nice to chat with people who are going thru or has gone thru the same thing.  The people have been very supportive. I am so happy Nay found them for me. I have learned more about my recovery and what to expect.  Still praying and meditating that the tumor will shrink and surgery won't be needed.  It is still hard to believe.  Oh well I have faith God will do what is best.

I CHOOSE HAPPY

2 weeks from today I will be having brain surgery.  It is still weird to say and hard to believe.  I find moments where I want to cry like a little baby but for some reason I can't.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I think it is more out of frustration. But I still haven't cried. There was a period before the last surgery date where I start to feel myself falling into a depressed state. I feel like I'm fighting my body.  My fibromyalgia is acting up bad right now.   I didn't want to be there so I prayed and asked God for help.  That is when I found my happy song.  I was flipping thru channels on TV and Pharrell William's video for Happy was on and it made me smile and the extra plus is it's from one of my favorite movies Despicable Me 2.  Well I loved both movies.  When I hear the song I automatically smile and I'm HAPPY.  I also have Minion ringtones.  I love it when my phone goes off while I'm in public.  It always puts a smile on somebody's face and makes them laugh.  You never know that might be the only laugh they will have that day.  I love making people happy.  Well back to my Happy Song,  My husband and daughter have been told I want to hear this song right before surgery and when the see me in recovery.  I choose to be happy.  Everybody should have a happy song.

New Surgery Date. Cancer Free

Ok Feb 18th is my new surgery date.  I tell you February must be my surgery month..lol  The good thing about February is that on the 15th I will be cancer free for 2 years YAYYYYYY MEEEE!!!.  At least I get to celebrate it before surgery.  I encourage all women of any age to do a self breast exam every month.  if you don't know how check out this link  self breast exam.  Did you know 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer.  And young women are not excluded anymore. If you feel anything that is different about your breast get it checked out.  And please don't think that if the lump hurts that it is not cancer.  My cancer lump did hurt. When I had the mammogram it found a second lump that I didn't feel and when I had surgery they found a 3rd lump deeper in my breast.  But the best part was it was found very early.  No chemo, no radiation needed. just hormonal therapy.  Hormonal therapy has been challenging but not as bad as the previous 2.  I feel very blessed that this is all I have to deal with.  The brain tumor is not cancer but would be a big problem if I leave it alone so it got to go.  The surgeon says I will be back to "normal" once it is gone...  well as normal as I can be...lol. 

Now I have a little more time to prepare my life for surgery.  I guess after going thru 4 previous surgeries I know what needs to be done for my family and home and me  to help our lives run smooth as possible during my recovery.   I also have more time to loose some weight before the 18th.  Well try to be healthier before the surgery.  So aqua fitness here I come  :).